Faith & Purpose

Speaker 7: Welcome everyone
to Faith and Purpose podcast.

Each episode of this podcast contains the
personal testimony of an ordinary person

transformed by an extraordinary God.

My name is Kaylin and I'm
here to introduce this podcast

for my friend Jesse Duke.

Jesse is a husband, father, author,
life recovery guide, lay counselor,

and small group leader, but his
most important role is disciple.

As a disciple of Jesus.

Jesse created this podcast to help other
believers tell their faith stories.

We'll be hearing the personal
testimonies of all sorts of people

who have one thing in common,
Jesus has transformed their lives.

Jesus used parables because he created
us to learn best through story.

And as we listen to how God has worked
in others lives, we find encouragement

and inspiration for our own faith walk.

Whether you are already a believer or
just a curious seeker, we believe that

as you listen to these stories, you will
be encouraged on your own faith journey.

We are sure that God can speak to you
through one of these episodes and that you

will see that our Heavenly Father truly
works all things together for our good.

When we simply love and trust him.

If you are currently going through a
trial, we believe that you will come

to see that your troubles, heartbreaks,
and failures are not gravestones, but

stepping stones into new life in Christ.

Here's Jesse with today's guest.

Speaker 2: Welcome everybody to
the Faith and Purpose podcast.

Today we are very fortunate to have
our friend Kay here to share her

story and my wife Becky is going to
be asking questions and hearing Kay's

story, so I hope you enjoy this.

So Becky, you and Kay just relax
and have a good conversation.

Becky: Thank you, Jesse.

And welcome everyone, we welcome
Kay today, Kay Griffin, so let's get

started Kay, you've got quite a story,
and I know a little bit about it.

Yes.

And I want you to go ahead and
start, tell us about how you found

Jesus in your life and what that
has meant to you through the years.

Oh, thank you, Becky.

it's humbling.

share this story.

I've done it many times to different
groups, primarily to women, but

occasionally there have been
men in the group and they too.

have been touched by
what the father has done.

everyone has a story.

This is my story, but it is also
the story of God, how much he

loves us, the plans he has for us.

And how he can bring his
good from seeming tragedy.

So, when I was very young,

my family situation was
at times very difficult.

when I was four, my birth mother
asked my father for a divorce.

He had been a very young
Marine in World War II.

After he arrived home, he met my
mother at Parris Island and they

married and dad decided to give his
life to God in service as a minister.

I don't know what difficulty there
may have been for my birth mother, but

she decided that she needed to leave.

So she asked my father for a divorce

and dad said the only way he
would agree to that was if he

got custody of me, which he did.

So daddy and I moved in with his parents
who lived right next door, which was a

tremendous gift from my heavenly father.

Both of my grandparents were good people.

But my grandmother was an angel
on earth, and it wasn't just

her family who thought that.

she had kept me during the four
years my parents were married.

And then she kept me again
from age four to six.

So that was a great blessing.

Of course, even though dad was
a pastor, he also worked, for a

trucking company, not as a driver.

He worked in the warehouse for additional
income, and he met a young widow there.

She had two children,
a son and a daughter.

Her first husband had died while she
was still pregnant with their daughter.

But, dad just fell for
her head over heels.

And they got married on February
9th, the day before my 6th birthday.

because dad was a young,
very dedicated man.

He spent a lot of time with the Faith
family, and then also with other

pastors, different conferences, and
also going out into the world to

tell people how great our God is.

and that God sent his son to
live on earth and to die a

brutal death to save us from sin.

So what did that mean to me?

It meant that my dad was
mostly an absentee father.

so my stepmother raised me.

It was difficult.

I will start by saying I think
she likely did the best she could.

With the situation she was in.

She was young, 21, 22.

she was a widow already with two children.

She married this man who had
become a Baptist minister.

And there was a six year
old girl tagging along.

She and I were very different.

not that either one of us was good or bad.

We were just different.

And my guess is that she
just didn't understand me.

Maybe even wondered
what planet I came from.

she was very critical.

saying things to me and to
me in front of other people.

Something like, it's the quiet ones
you know you have to watch out for.

And there was physical abuse, but it was
only one thing, and it was devastating.

Whenever her anger caused her to lose
control, she would slap me in the face.

It didn't matter whether we were
at home, at church, out in public.

That hand would come quicker
than I knew it was coming.

why did she do that to me?

I don't know for sure that I even thought,
why does Jesus let her do that to me?

It was just too stunning.

And I was a shy, quiet child.

My grandmother was a shy, quiet lady.

And I emulated her.

And I remain thankful for that.

Um,

was I worthless?

my daddy's a pastor, shouldn't I be?

Mm hmm.

worth something.

there were a few things that
occurred and some were just so good.

But being in the frame of mind I
was, I would think less of myself.

I'll give you a beautiful example.

my stepbrother, was a
year younger than me.

So when I was age seven
and he was age six.

At the end of the service, when
Daddy extended the invitation for

anyone to come down front and give
their life to Jesus, please come.

my terrific step brother, I didn't know it
at the time, but I learned it in my 20s,

he got up and walked down and talked
to Dad and committed his life to Jesus.

Well, I'm sitting in the pew going,
uh oh, I'm a year older than him.

I'm daddy's biological child
and I haven't done this.

What's wrong?

So without really thinking about it,
I got up and walked down and told

daddy I was ready too to accept Jesus.

That wasn't a bad thing, but I
didn't really know what I was doing.

So years passed and my stepmother stopped.

Slapping me in the face.

I don't know how that came about.

But I was very thankful.

However, she was still
very critical of me.

for instance, one year, uh, this
very small church in Forest Park,

Georgia had this massive Christmas
story with people from the faith

family acting as Joseph and Mary.

And there was even a tiny baby.

And all of the choirs.

Even in the small church,
we had multiple choirs.

I went, I and my brother
were in the junior choir.

He had a great voice, still does.

Me, not so much.

So, we were waiting to process into
the sanctuary and I was talking to the

girl either in front of me or behind me
and my mother screamed at me to shut.

I probably wasn't really in the frame of
mind to experience this beautiful pageant.

And I was a little hesitant about
it to begin with because Mother

had me play the role of a donkey.

I'm a little nine year old girl
who wanted to be Cinderella,

but I had to sing the part.

Um,

another example that I didn't
really think about until I

was much older is, Halloween.

It was a great thing in
our tiny little community.

We lived around a lake.

So we were, my brother and I were allowed
to walk with friends all the way around

the circle of the lake and trick or treat.

My costume was a monkey.

She chose it.

She chose that.

I wanted to be Cinderella.

At the very least, it's no white.

But I was the monkey.

Neither one of these things I've
just shared with you in itself

would cause a lifetime of hurt and
the reason to become an introvert.

But as a whole, they did.

I'm not saying that my
stepmother destroyed me.

Satan, for whatever reason,
had to have been at work.

So I withdrew even further.

I did have a couple of very
good friends in high school.

They lived nearby and they were
very tolerant that I rarely talked.

Couldn't go to a lot of the activities.

certainly didn't participate in anything
in high school like The band or the

flag team or a club or whatever.

I felt I was worthless.

Now, my dad was still a
minister until I reached age 16.

And at that time he left the ministry,
I think, because he recognized

there was very little prospect of
him being able to afford college.

For four children.

that's right.

I neglected to mention that my dad and
my stepmother had a baby girl shortly

after they married, so I was the oldest.

My stepbrother was a year younger than me.

My stepsister was a few
younger than my brother.

And then 18 months.

between my stepsister and my half sister.

Um, I'm sorry I'm pausing so much.

Some of these memories are
difficult to verbalize.

But, Mother wasn't horrible
to me all the time.

but I just stayed in my room.

thankfully, through my birth mother,
I learned the love of reading.

My, my birth mother was not
absent from my life, completely,

but she was gone a long time.

She, went to work as a civil servant,
civil service person for the government

and, was stationed in Germany for
a few years and, met another man.

that sounded weird.

I'm sorry.

She met a very nice man who was
in the air force in Germany.

And they married.

And then I have two half
brothers from that marriage.

mom would send me books, black Beauty,
treasure Island, Robinson, Caruso.

some of you, miss listening, may not
know who those books are about, , but

they were pretty popular in the 1950s.

so I learned to read.

And I also learned to play solitaire.

Of course I would play solitaire.

I didn't have enough confidence to
play even old maid with other people.

So I was in my room a lot.

And my stepmother would
tease me about that.

I just wanted to stay out of the way.

I didn't want to bring any
disparaging remarks down on my head.

I did enjoy my brother and my two
sisters, lovely people, my two sisters

were not tiny taros, but they were
little taros to me and, to each other.

They would do things around the house
and then tell mother that I did them,

but she was smart enough to know.

So I didn't get punished
for anything that they did.

Probably did.

so your dad had gotten
out of the ministry?

Yes.

Thank you, Becky, for
getting me back on track.

dad left the ministry, which
wasn't really traumatic for me.

It certainly was for his mother.

She just couldn't understand it.

But at any rate, dad became
a successful businessman.

And, when I graduated high school, there
was money to send me off to college.

So I didn't go far, but
I did live on campus.

It was, maybe an hour and a
half, two hours from home.

So for the first time in my life,
I had freedom to a certain degree.

Now granted, I did go to my classes, I did
go where I was to be, I had been taught to

be obedient, certainly by my grandmother
and then also by daddy and my stepmother.

So I, I did what I was supposed
to do, but I lost my way.

I lost my way wanting to be
liked, wanting to fit in.

So somehow I was brave enough to,
interact with a few people when

there were very small groups.

And in the second semester, which
was in the winter of 1965, a guy

transferred in from New York.

So I was introduced to this guy
and we began to hang out together

and then we dated and then it might
have been two times, it might have

been three, I really don't remember.

We had sex, off campus of course.

I wasn't coerced, I
just wanted to be light.

So I said, looking for love, why not?

It was unprotected sex.

So I left my freshman year of
college and went home in May

and discovered I was pregnant.

Oh golly, I am worthless.

There's nothing good about me.

What have I done?

What is my daddy gonna say?

How can I tell anybody that
I'm going to have a baby?

I was scared to death.

not really to death,
but I was pretty scared.

And I had walked so far
away from Christian faith,

I didn't even think to pray.

I didn't ask our Heavenly Father.

I didn't ask my Lord Jesus.

I didn't ask the Holy
Spirit who indwelled me.

Why do I do?

So I waited

until my fifth month to tell
my parents that I was pregnant.

The first thing Daddy
had to do was cancel.

My sophomore year at college,
because of course I couldn't go.

it was not something that people
were okay with as it seems society

is today to be an unwed mother.

this was before Roe v.

Wade, and I'm very thankful for that.

I don't think that my father
being a Christian man, he was.

would have asked that of me, but
because I had no self esteem, had I

been told to do that, I might have.

Speaker 4: Yes.

Speaker 3: Yes.

So I am very grateful to our
Heavenly Father that I did not

have to face that decision.

My dad took over, made all the decisions,
which was normal, because I knew I

wasn't good enough to make any decisions.

Especially not now, not after
that decision to have unprotected

sex with a boy I hardly knew
who was from Yonkers, New York.

my dad made the decision that
I would give my child up.

And, in God's divine plan, my
daddy's sister, her husband and three

sons, lived in Phoenix, Arizona.

So daddy contacted my aunt
who just, she was almost a

carbon copy of my grandmother.

So those two women were the
bright spots of my life.

I did have wonderful female role models.

My mother didn't want me, my stepmother
didn't like me, but my grandmama and

my aunt loved me to the moon and back.

Thank you, Jesus.

that's how Jesus steps in isn't.

Mm-Hmm.

. at times I have had great regret,
Becky, that I didn't recognize

it immediately when I was given
such beautiful gifts by the Lord.

But, I'm so happy that
I've lived long enough.

That I think I know, or I'm aware
of, most of, is great love for me.

So, I flew for the very first time
on a plane from Georgia to Phoenix,

Arizona, and, my three cousins,
one who was the oldest, was the

same age I was, and then there were
two stair step younger brothers.

They were so loving to me.

They were thrilled to have Cousin Kay
in their home, even though one, they

all had their own bedrooms, so one
had to double up with another one.

So I could have my own bedroom.

I was there from October
until I delivered in February.

my aunt and uncle were such
godly people, just loved on me,

just took such great care of me.

We all went to church
as a family on Sundays.

I think my aunt and uncle probably
shared with their friends a

fabrication of my situation.

The Vietnam War in 1965 was beginning
to get, bad So I think they told their

friends that my husband was in Vietnam.

I doubt many people believed that.

Why wouldn't I be with my family
in Georgia instead of with them?

But everybody was nice to me.

Nobody, looked at me like,
she's not worth much.

going to worship service with
this family that just loved me,

brought me not back to Jesus just yet,
but reminded me that He's alive, He

cares, He's loving, and He's amazing.

I gave birth on February 14th, in 1966.

The adoption was arranged
through the physician's office.

I knew nothing about the couple,
and they knew very little about me.

That's the way it was supposed to be.

And I was not allowed to
know anything about my baby.

nothing.

And not allowed to see
the child, certainly.

I'll digress a little bit, Becky.

If I had held my baby, I don't
think I could have given her up.

I really don't.

Yet, I was fully confident that I
was doing what was right for her.

No, I did not know the sex of my baby.

I had a fairly easy birth, I think.

my aunt and uncle's pastor
came to the hospital.

and sat with me for a little
while the one night I was there.

And before he left, of
course, he prayed for me.

And in his prayer, this lovely
man, without thinking about

it, prayed for my baby girl.

He used the word, she.

What a gift from my Heavenly Father.

I knew I had a girl.

I would have been just as
overjoyed had it been a boy.

But knowing my baby girl was going to
bring joy to a couple gave me peace.

I was still a mess.

I was such a mess.

I might have transferred to my child
all the insecurities and hurts.

Not that I would have done anything
to her as was done to me, but

I was just too insecure to be
the mother I wanted her to have.

She was born February 14th,
my birthday, February 10th.

Valentine's Day, how good is our God?

Valentine's Day.

So that was always a
bittersweet day for me.

of course it brought joy to think
about my little girl, age one, age

two, age four, age 10, whatever.

so that was just really sweet.

But I have to say Mother's Day was always.

So terribly difficult.

I never had another child.

I don't know why, but I did not.

She is my only child.

So I flew back home to Georgia
and nothing was talked about.

Nothing.

Nothing.

How do you feel?

What do you want to do now?

None of that that I recall, which
was fairly typical in my relationship

with my dad and my stepmom.

Everybody just acted like normal.

Now my stepbrother and my
stepsister knew what had happened.

They were in the other room the evening
that I told my parents I was pregnant.

My youngest sister, my half sister,
didn't know until many years later.

it was decided for me that I
would go to business school,

certainly not go back to school.

so I would ride the bus from my
grandparents house to downtown Atlanta

to go to business school, ride back home.

And that was my existence.

However,

down the street from our house lived,
uh, mom and dad, two sons, Both sons were

great friends of my brother and my sister.

Their dad was a pilot for Delta Air Lines.

And I don't remember
exactly how it came about.

He had me interview with his great
friend who was over all the flight

attendants for Delta Airlines.

So I became a flight attendant.

Mousy, insecure, little K.

So I was thrust into having to
say, Hello, how may I help you?

What can I get you to drink?

things like that.

And Forced to be with a group of
women, other flight attendants.

and, just to digress a little
bit, Through that wonderful job I

had, It was wonderful back then,
I understand it's not so much now.

I had four friends, we were all roommates.

That was in 1967.

We are still good friends.

We email each other every Friday
just relaying the events of

the week or what's upcoming.

Wonderful, wonderful friends.

Four of us lived around the Atlanta area.

One married a fellow And she lives
in Minnesota, but I digressed.

I'm sorry.

I had that job as a flight attendant, and
I still didn't have the relationship with

our Heavenly Father, with the Lord Jesus,
or the Holy Spirit, that I could have had.

I knew they were there, but what
they want to have to do with me?

I knew going to church was a good
thing, and I could do that easily,

but just going to church, that
doesn't mean you have a relationship.

they were there, they were as close
as my breath, but I chose not to be

involved, unconsciously chose that.

I want to share with you that
we cannot do anything so bad.

that it will cause God
to love us any less.

But at that time in my
life, I did not know it.

Even into my mid twenties,
I didn't know it.

I also didn't know He had a plan for me.

Um, my third marriage started in 1982.

Before we married, I told
him that I had a child.

so.

In the early 1990s,

I happened to read an article in a
magazine about an agency in Nevada

that helped people find each other.

in my mind, I put two and two together.

Nevada borders Arizona.

why not contact this agency?

this was before computers, before email.

I applied for an application.

I wrote for an application and, received
it, completed it, and submitted it.

Hopeful, but not expecting
anything as a result.

Little did I know that God
really did have a plan.

It was Him.

It was the Lord Jesus.

It was the Holy Spirit who
had me pick up that magazine.

And turn the page to the
article about this agency.

So my life went on.

It was not a bad life.

It was just lukewarm.

I did decide to renew my
relationship with God.

I knew that I needed God in my life.

So I had lived for years without him.

Now I knew I needed to live.

However, my participation with the
Father mostly was just sitting in the

pew on Sunday morning, listening to
the prayers, singing the old hymns,

listening to the message, telling
everyone, nice to see you, have a

good week, shaking the pastor's hand,
walking out the door, going home.

Of course, I was sitting by myself.

I did finally decide to
participate in Sunday school.

and I also diligently tried to serve
in isolated activities at church.

for example, working
in the church library.

It was just me in there,
helping people find books.

or receiving books back
that they had checked out.

But nothing was fulfilling.

Nothing was.

Were you still also a flight attendant?

I'm sorry, no, I left that part out.

again, I'll digress a little bit.

My first husband, had been in ROTC when
he attended Georgia Tech, and after he

graduated with his engineering degree,
He was committed to serve in the army.

he was stationed out in Fort Collins,
Colorado before being shipped to Vietnam

and no, he did not serve on the front
lines, but I had asked the gentleman

who oversaw the personnel operations,
if I could have a leave of absence and

his answer was no, because I was, again,
the So when secure, I didn't push back.

I just said, okay, then I'm going to
have to resign because I want these.

three months before my husband
goes to Vietnam with him every day.

So thank you for reminding me
I didn't explain that part.

But I still stayed in touch with
those dear roommates, precious women.

So tried Sunday school, tried
the volunteer activities,

and nothing was fulfilling.

What was wrong with me?

Nothing really worked.

I was still empty inside.

I was trying to find a
relationship with God.

But I was still empty.

I couldn't find my place.

I was, I just felt so alone.

during all of 2005, I, I, I,
I, I, I, I, I, I I stayed

away from church completely.

I didn't have bad feelings, I just
thought, Okay, Frank won't go to church

with me, I'm gonna stay home with him.

Maybe we can watch church on TV,
or at least listen, to something,

and of course that never happened.

I'm not 100 percent sure why I made that
choice to stay away for a whole year.

So, by neglecting to do anything for
Jesus, for our Heavenly Father, I

still was really lukewarm in my faith.

I knew He was there, but He wasn't
here, as close as my breath, in 2006,

I'd had enough of staying away
from church, and I finally

surrendered myself, completely.

What was it different from
before you may be wondering?

I was just completely, absolutely weary
of being so frightened of everything

and so unsure of everything in my life.

I'd had enough of that.

I didn't want that anymore.

And thus, I finally recognized
that I had no one to turn to.

But God, if I really wanted
my life to improve, yes, I had

a husband, I had my family.

I had those precious friends from
when I was a flight attendant, but

it didn't fill me up like
I wanted it to be filled.

So it's okay.

The great surrender.

Yes.

Yes.

I had put up an invisible
wall between my family and me.

Of course, I still went
to family gatherings.

but there was just a wall there.

so in 2006, I decided
it was time to change.

I had no clue what was
going to occur in 2006.

But God did.

Jesus did.

The Holy Spirit did.

In March of that year, I went
back to my home church during

my first worship service back.

I was taken by the music.

Even though I couldn't sing.

I always enjoyed music.

I never sung in a choir
before, but guess what?

This is unbelievable.

The Holy Spirit told me to join the choir.

Join the choir?

Are you kidding me?

But he kept poking me, if you
want to look at it that way.

Join the choir.

I don't know how long I
waited, but it was a while.

And I don't know how I got up nerve
enough to go to church on Wednesday night,

which was when choir practice occurred.

And I walked in and because
I had just been a pew sitter,

I had no clue where to go.

So I started down a hall, and
coming toward me was a lovely

woman that I had met when I had
attempted to go to Sunday school.

She was in the orchestra.

So I said, Beth, I'm trying to
find where the choir rehearses.

Oh, I'll take you.

Come on.

we walked through a lot of
people, and there was the choir

room right behind the sanctuary.

So, as we got to the door,
there was, just this short, big

personality woman who said, Hi!

And Beth introduced the lady and I, and
this sweet woman says, What do you sing?

What do I sing?

I have no idea.

I said, I don't know.

And Sharon said, That's alright,
come with me, we'll figure it out.

I spent six years making a joyful
noise, and it was wonderful.

It was wonderful.

that was really a positive step.

I'm not going to say the Holy
Spirit pushed me, because the Holy

Trinity doesn't operate that way.

I had to make a choice.

Forget it, or obey it.

so glad I obeyed.

so glad.

there was another big change coming.

In the fall of 2006, I took a
giant leap and attended a Thursday

night women's group at my church.

I walked in not knowing one single person.

Those ladies

loved me from the start.

Not because of who I was, But because of
who Jesus was in them, they thought I had

worth and they wanted to get to know me.

They really wanted to get to know me.

They thought I might be a good friend.

So I kept attending and
the walls began to crumble.

Such freedom when those chains
fall, when the walls crumble.

And I knew, I'm gonna get
emotional, I knew my God was outside

waiting for me to step out of that rubble.

Well, I'm not really good at athletics but
I think I jumped over that pile of rubble.

that's the way it is.

yeah.

My heart jumps all the time when
I think about certain things

regarding the Holy Trinity.

I had finally allowed Jesus
to get me into action.

He had allowed me to decide
whether or not to open, completely

open, the door of my life to Him.

He does not force.

He knocks on the door and waits
for us to open it and answer

and say, Welcome, my Lord.

How grateful I am that at long
last, I did have an ear to

hear and know it was for me.

No matter what had occurred in
my prior life, Jesus had died a

brutal death to wash me of my sins.

Me!

That worthless little six year old girl.

And now this older woman.

let's get to the really good next step.

Sunday after Thanksgiving in
2006, I received a phone call

from the agency in Nevada.

The International
Soundex Reunion Registry.

It's an odd name, but they
were an amazing organization.

The kind woman who called me said that
they knew they had found my daughter.

found my daughter,

Kay, what would you like to do about this?

And I just wanted to shout,
what do I want to do?

I want to know her.

But this lovely woman said that she would
not tell me at that time anything about

my daughter, that she would call her,
tell her they had found her biological

mother and ask her what she wanted to do.

So, a few hours later, this lovely woman
called back and said that my daughter

would call me the following evening.

So, on Monday evening, I got a phone call
like no other I've ever had in my life.

We talked for about an hour
and a half, and it was amazing.

My daughter was so kind,
so interested in me.

She never once said anything
like, How could you do that?

Why did you give me up?

She shared so much about her life.

It turns out that her adoptive
parents were both deceased.

she said she wasn't sure that
she would have tried to find me.

until after they had died.

But a few years, her mother was the last
to die and a few years after that death,

my daughter's best friend said, don't
you think it's time to find your mother?

So Cindy filled out the application and
sent it in to this agency in Nevada.

And in one week, there
was an immediate match.

I had waited from the early 1990s.

November of 2006.

She only had to wait a week.

Which is perfect.

It's perfect for me.

So, Cindy went on to tell me
that I had four grandchildren.

My cup overflowed.

Two girls and two boys.

At that time, they were
ages two and three.

four, nine, and thirteen.

Now they are nineteen, twenty
one, twenty six, and thirty.

They live in a suburb of Denver, Colorado.

That's kind of far, but it's okay.

Delta flies there, because, we were
approaching the Christmas holidays

and they had specific plans with
her husband's family members.

I decided to wait until January to fly
out to Denver to actually see them.

In the meantime, This sweet woman
sent me a notebook with copies of

photographs from her life, from infant,
age two, elementary school, high school.

it was just The most
beautifully overwhelming thing.

Overwhelming is probably the wrong word.

That has a negative connotation.

But, it just brought me so much joy.

and of course, she sent a nice letter.

framed portrait of she and
her husband and the four kids.

So in January, I flew out to
Denver, never been out there before.

And it's a gorgeous place, by
the way, if you haven't been.

When I walked into the airport terminal
and got to the top of the escalator,

there she was with the four children.

She had allowed the older
two to stay out of school.

And those precious kids were
holding a precious child.

Huge sign that they had
drawn, welcome grandma Kay.

I still have the sign.

Still have the sign.

Oh, as an aside, my sister who was a
little crazy, by the way, she said, are

you going to let them call you grandma?

My response was, Laura, they can
call me anything they want to.

As long as they know I
am their grandmother.

the older two understood, the situation,
circumstance of Cindy's birth.

The younger two, I mean, she told
them who knows how much, probably the

two year old didn't really understand
anything, but they were precious to me.

Probably because Cindy was
so loved and so precious.

so we drove from the airport to their
house, about half an hour drive.

And Cindy took me upstairs to the
room they use as their guest bedroom.

And when I walked in, Becky, there
was an enormous bouquet of red roses.

There were 40 of them.

She was 40 years old.

And she said, Kay, these are for you.

They're just 40 years

Speaker 4: left.

Speaker 3: Ooh, that
would have brought tears.

Yes, I did.

I did cry.

I didn't sob.

I had happy tears.

Finally, I was like Cinderella.

she left me to go start
working on dinner and for me to

unpack and hang up my things.

I heard the garage door open and heard
Chris, her husband, walk into the house.

So, I stopped what I was doing before
I got to the bottom of the stairs.

This wonderful man walked across
the den with his arms outstretched

saying, Welcome to the family, Kay.

I didn't sob.

I held it together.

That was such a gift.

I mean, God gave me so many gifts
that week of sharing with them.

Speaker 2: It was like

Speaker 3: having a son.

Yes.

Yes, both of his parents are
deceased now, so I am beginning to

treat him more and more like a son.

and he's responding well.

one day, she and I had the blessing
of having breakfast just the two of us

because the kids would go off to school.

the little ones were still asleep
and Chris had left for work, so

we just had this lovely breakfast.

Time with coffee and
English muffins or whatever.

And one morning she handed
me a piece of paper.

It was the note that I had
written to her adoptive parents.

I didn't, I couldn't tell
them anything about myself.

I couldn't, I didn't even sign my name.

But I wanted to tell them that
this was the hardest thing

I would ever do in my life.

And that is true.

Mother, this was the note you
gave them at the hospital.

I gave it to the doctor's office who gave
it to the attorney who gave it to them.

Man, four years.

Speaker 4: Okay.

Speaker 3: Yes.

Yeah.

Her mother had saved it.

and given it to Cindy when they felt
Cindy was old enough to be told and

understand what, what had occurred.

so I was very touched that her
adoptive mother had given it to

her and that Cindy had saved it.

And then let me know she had it.

And before I flew out there, again, a
nudge from the Holy Spirit, I pulled

together things about, my dad's family,
and the few things I had from my

biological mother about her family.

So Cindy would know her heritage,
and she had shared with me that

one thing that had been somewhat
problematic for her is that whim.

She would need to give medical history.

She could never tell what her
mom and dad, had experienced.

speaking of her dad, I got so
enthusiastic with my part of this story.

I forgot to relate anything about him.

I wrote him at the urging of my dad
to tell him that I was pregnant.

so he knew, but there was never any.

Never any contact, between he and I.

I think maybe his mother got
involved, with my dad or with

my aunt, I'm not really sure.

he knew he had a child,
but that's all he knew.

And, I had no idea how to find
him when I, when Cindy and I found

each other, so it was just there.

but one evening Chris had arranged
for Cindy and I to go to a very

nice restaurant in downtown Denver.

And when we got to dessert,
she looked at me with sort of

a puzzling facial expression.

Kay, what can you tell me about my father?

And I had to respond, hardly anything.

His, last name is somewhat unusual,
and I won't share that in this podcast.

and that he lived in, that he had lived.

in Yonkers, New York,
and that was all I knew.

But she appreciated that I could
at least tell her how I met

him and, what had transpired.

So, the end of the week came and it
was time for me to fly back home.

God is so in the details.

They had a snow storm
and the airport closed.

So I was there for two more days.

Now I'm not saying God did that just
for me, but I thanked him anyway.

So,

I went home and, life
surely did change for me.

I was so very happy.

my husband's initial reaction,
When I let him know about the

phone call was somewhat negative.

he doesn't trust people easily.

So he said, Kay, you
need to be very careful.

You don't know what she
might want from you.

I said, Frank, God's hand is all over
this and I have no worries about that.

So he just worried
about it all on his own.

I had visited her in January of 2007.

In March of 2007, Cindy flew
to Georgia to meet the family.

my stepmother had died in, 1996.

So, she never got to meet Cindy.

anyway, when dad came to our home to
meet her for the first time, it was,

it was so sweet and it was
so sad and it was so amazing.

He walked in the door, hugged
and began to cry and repeatedly

told her how sorry he was.

That he had made me give her up,

that he had regretted it for years.

He seriously thought about trying to
find her, but my aunt and uncle had

talked him out of trying to do that.

And he finally understood
that it was best for her.

Oh, Becky, I just remembered
something I left Alice.

What?

This, again, God, it's so amazing.

In the, documents that I had shipped
out to Cindy before my first visit

there, I had included a family tree of
just my father's side of the family.

a cousin, second cousin, third
cousin, whatever, had done

it for a project for school.

And so Cindy got that out while I
was there and we were looking at it.

And when we got to my dad and my
biological mother, and then there was me,

she saw my full name.

My name is Cynthia K.

Her parents did not know, My name,
but she is named Cynthia Marie.

She cried.

She cried.

So, believe me listeners,
God is in the details.

I will begin now to focus on

what the Holy Trinity has done for me.

I don't know that there is such
a thing as the worst sinner ever.

But yeah, I was a sinner.

I was a sinner for years.

And don't be thinking in your mind,
people, that, Oh yeah, it's those

preacher's kids you have to worry about.

Uh uh.

Don't go there.

It's just that they're in the spotlight.

More than children who
are not pastor's kids.

even though I had been so very sinful,

Jesus blood wiped it all out.

Completely.

Completely.

Our Heavenly Father had
turned a disastrous mistake

into something beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

In Him, there was redemption
and transformation.

Through His glorious blood.

My life was completely transformed.

So, could you give advice
right now to our listeners?

Oh, absolutely Becky.

Absolutely.

No matter who you are,

our Lord is right there with you.

And I mean wherever you are.

If you feel like you are in the
depths of hell, Jesus is there.

Jesus is as close as your
breath waiting for you.

Don't leave that door closed.

Throw that door open.

Look in his wonderful face and
let him shower you with love.

But you have never, ever known

if and when you accept Him as Lord of
your life, you will receive a great gift

in that the Holy Spirit will indwell you.

What does that mean, Kay?

The Holy Spirit?

He is the advocate for you.

He will guide you.

He will convict you.

He will comfort you.

You will not hear an audible voice.

At least, that's been my experience.

okay, thank you.

Okay, just feel the
depth of your sincerity.

There's so much love as you give
this gift to those who are listening.

Yeah.

And I was wondering, would
you mind praying for those?

I will absolutely.

Do we have a minute for me
to share a couple of other

experiences or am I out of time?

Okay.

Okay.

I'm just real quickly, folks, through
God's glorious intervention, I began

to serve him in areas of ministry that
I would never have thought possible.

He has had me witness in my
home, in the workplace, people.

And with many people who were strangers,
he sent me on mission trips overseas

to Kenya, six times and to Costa Rica.

Once he has given me the privilege of
leading women's Bible studies, as well

as other women's faith based activities.

Me, who was afraid of my own shadow.

I am not proud of giving you my
credentials for the past 18 years.

I can't brag about anything.

What I want you to hear
is that God is amazing.

His amazing grace saved a wretch like me.

He loved me through it all.

Praise His holy name.

I finally listened and
believed it was for me.

I am Cynthia K.

I am the one Jesus loves.

So now, I want to pray.

I want to pray for you.

Father God, what an humbling
and wonderful experience.

I'm just so blessed to
have met Becky and Jesse.

Have them learn of my story
and invite me to share it.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, I
pray that you feel our Lord's presence

with you every moment of every day.

You will be attacked by
Satan and his demons.

You may know that already.

Don't believe those lies.

Rebuke them and say, Jesus,
I surrender this to you.

Jesus, I surrender all to you.

Picture yourself sitting at his feet.

There is no sweeter place.

to be throughout your day, no
matter what your day consists of.

I pray you have that vision of yourself
sitting with Jesus, sitting at his

feet, maybe leaning your head on his
knee with his beautiful nail scarred

hand, touching your head, loving on you.

If you are unsure about this message,
I pray you will get a Bible, borrow

one, buy one, whatever you need
to do, and start with the Gospel

of John in the New Testament.

Lord, guide them there to each of the
beautiful accounts of what you did

while you walked the earth, and that
even though you ascended into heaven

after your resurrection, you are
still here, and they can talk to you.

Anytime, about anything, and then, please
hear me, be still and know our Father God.

In Jesus name I pray.

Speaker 8: We hope you've
been blessed by today's story.

In case you haven't noticed, there
are no advertisements on this podcast,

and we hope to keep it that way.

So if you've heard something that you
think could help someone you know, please

share it using the link in the show notes.

Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a
positive review on your podcast platform,

you could help more people find it.

You will probably never know how
that small effort can make a big

difference in someone's life,
but our Heavenly Father knows.

Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus
follower with a story to tell, please send

them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.

It may encourage them to tell their story.

That person may even be you.

Our only criteria is
that Jesus be glorified.

Most Christians don't share their
faith because they mistakenly think

their story is not interesting enough,
or that it's self centered to talk

about themselves, or that they are not
competent to explain the gospel correctly.

But none of that is relevant.

If Jesus has changed your
life, you have a story to tell.

All of our stories are completely unique.

No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone

else through telling your experience.

So don't be intimidated.

A story is just that, a true account
of your own experience, and no one

can disagree with your experience.

When we tell what Jesus has done in
our lives, we are being obedient to his

command to go into all the world and
preach the gospel to every creature.

It's not about theology, and it's not
about how interesting or special you are.

It's all about Jesus.

So when you're ready to tell how Jesus
has impacted your life, you can let Jesse

know at his ministry website, jesseduke.

net.

There you can download guidelines
that will make it easy to

prepare to tell your story.

Thank you for listening today and Shalom.