Faith & Purpose

Cailin: Welcome everyone to
Faith and Purpose podcast.

Each episode of this podcast contains the
personal testimony of an ordinary person

transformed by an extraordinary God.

My name is Caitlin and I'm
here to introduce this podcast

for my friend Jesse Duke.

Jesse is a husband, father, author,
life recovery guide, lay counselor,

and small group leader, but his
most important role is disciple.

As a disciple of Jesus.

Jesse created this podcast to help other
believers tell their faith stories.

We'll be hearing the personal
testimonies of all sorts of people

who have one thing in common,
Jesus has transformed their lives.

Jesus used parables because he created
us to learn best through story.

And as we listen to how God has worked
in others lives, we find encouragement

and inspiration for our own faith walk.

Whether you are already a believer, or
just a curious seeker, we believe that

as you listen to these stories, you will
be encouraged on your own faith journey.

We are sure that God can speak to you
through one of these episodes, and that

you will see that our Heavenly Father
truly works all things together for

our good, When we simply love and trust
him if you are currently going through

a trial We believe that you will come
to see that your troubles Heartbreaks

and failures are not gravestones, but
stepping stones into new life in Christ.

Here's Jesse with today's guest

Welcome, everybody, to the
Faith and Purpose Podcast.

I'm Jesse Duke, and today I'm talking
with my longtime friend, Clarence

Jones, and I'm really excited about
what he has to share with us today, and

I know you're gonna be blessed by it.

Good to see you, Clarence.

How are you doing today?

I'm doing good.

I had my morning coffee
and I'm ready to go.

Well, it's good to see you.

And tell us, tell us about
your spiritual journey.

Well, um, Jess, I know we met
each other probably back in 2010.

And, you know, you know, a lot
about my life, but there's some

things that, uh, it happened.

And I, and I think it's probably best
if I start to, when I was born, Cause

I was born up North in the Bronx.

Uh, I grew up with five other
siblings and, um, we didn't spend a

whole lot of time going to church.

What I can remember about going to
church is probably my grandmother

smacking me in the back of the head.

Whenever I fell asleep, um, as we continue
to grow and we came teenagers, I know

my family, we all moved to, uh, Florida
because my brother had asthma really bad.

So we ended up living in, um, Miami.

And we were pretty poor.

Uh, the man that was married to my
mother left us stranded down there.

He was supposed to sell a house
and come meet us down there.

But, uh, he ended up marrying my mother's
sister, became a bigamist and left us.

you know, broke my mother
with six kids in Miami.

So we got into a lot of stuff
down there as six kids just

trying to struggle and making it.

Um, I remember getting high with my
brother drinking with him and his friends.

I started smoking marijuana at age 14.

We just, uh, we, we pretty much
did what we wanted to do because

our mother was never around.

Uh, I remember after a while it
got to the point where it's so bad.

My mom sent me and my sisters back up
to New York to live with my grandmother.

And, uh, I was in the house, the only
boy with three girls that didn't go well.

I lived there for about three years.

Um, I remember going to this one school.

Where I was the only black
kid in the entire school.

And, um, so I was subject to
a bit of racism at that time.

And, you know, as a young kid, you
don't even use the word racism.

You just know that you're different
and you're treated a different way.

And I was desperately
just trying to fit in.

So a lot of stuff I would just take, I
remember taking a lot of things, the name

calling and the joking and the insults
and just laughing it off, thinking

that these were my friends, but I was
treated pretty badly at that school.

Uh, my grandmother found out about
it and she pulled me out and then

I was able to go back down to Miami
and live with my mother again.

But um, that wasn't any better
because I got around my brothers and

once again, we were, you know, while
doing what we wanted to do, I can

remember one particular time when my
grandmother came back down there and

she wanted to take me back to New York.

And I didn't want to go, you know,
because we were poor in Miami we

didn't have much but I had freedom.

And at that age freedom was everything.

So I remember even cursing at my
grandmother telling her to leave me

alone and my mom didn't do anything
about it she never disciplined us.

So I still regret that to this day.

I know me and my brothers, we, uh, my
older brother, George, we fought a lot.

We even fought over the same girl once.

We fought over the same girl, the first
girl that I started dating, he ended up

sleeping with her, so we fought over that.

It was a lot of stuff going on
in our family that wasn't great.

You know, as a kid, I remember
things, you know, my grandfather was

molesting my, uh, youngest sister
for many years, and, uh, Yeah, I,

I, I couldn't do anything about it.

I remember when it all came out and
my grandmother, my mother tried to

sweep it under the rug, you know, they
didn't want anybody to know about it.

My grandfather ended up getting off.

I don't even remember how he did it.

Somehow he never went to jail
and never did any time for

it, but he got off on that.

And all those things bothered me
as a child, but you know, I just

didn't know how to express it.

So I just bottled it up and I
continued drinking, getting high

with my brothers and my friends.

I remember we lived in Miami, me and
my sister, my older sister, my older

brother, we used to have this bench
outside the yard and we would sit there

and we would drink quarts of beer.

And, you know, we'd smoke and that's
pretty much was our life there.

Um, after, uh, Miami, uh, I left
and we moved to South Carolina.

I remember me and my mother, my brother,
we were on the road for a long time.

And, uh, we went to several different
States and we ended up running

out of money in South Carolina.

So I lived in South Carolina,
finished off high school there.

Um, met my first wife there and, uh,
we got married at a very young age.

And, um, I had my first daughter
when I lived in, uh, I'm sorry,

I'm trying to get it straight.

It was in South Carolina.

So we moved, I moved back down to Florida.

Yeah.

And, um, me and my wife had
a very volatile relationship.

She ended up becoming a striptease
dancer and I was a waiter in a restaurant

and then we were making so much money.

All we did was cheat on
each other, drink and fight.

I don't know how I was able to even
raise my daughter in that type of

environment, but I remember I always used
to try never to smoke in front of her.

So I used to have this place outside where
I would go and smoke and do my drugs.

And then I would come back in the house
and, uh, I don't, I don't think that, um,

I was hiding anything from my daughter,
but at that time I thought I was.

So, you know, it wasn't a surprise.

My daughter was about eight years old that
me and my wife got a divorce at that time.

So we left each other.

Uh, we came back together a
year later and we decided to

give our marriage a second try.

And that's when I had my second son,
well, my first son, but, um, That wasn't

planned and I remember blaming her
thinking that, you know, she had gotten

pregnant on purpose to trap me back and
we were just trying to work things out.

So between that and everything
else that was going on, that

relationship didn't last.

So I left, uh, I left my wife with
two kids because I, I just felt

like, you know, I didn't want to
be in that relationship anymore.

I remember moving down to, uh,
Myrtle Beach with my older brother

and this young girl friend of
mine's, her name was Crystal.

Same name as my daughter.

Don't ask me.

And, uh, I would like to sit
here and tell you that she got

me hooked on crack because, um,
she was smoking crack before me.

But the truth of the matter
is I saw what she was doing.

I liked it.

And so I did it.

So I have nobody to blame but myself.

And, you know, I thought that I could just
because I did cocaine before marijuana.

I haven't done acid, but we had never
me and my brother always told us that

we would never touch crack cocaine, but
we ended up trying it and I liked it.

And, you know, you never think
about becoming a crack addict.

At the onset, you always think like, okay,
I'm just going to try a little bit of it.

I can handle it, you know, and you try and
then you might go another three or four.

It was like another three or four
months before I tried it again.

So I felt like I had it handled.

But it's like they say in AA, like
one is too much and a thousand is not

enough because you have that one and
you think, okay, well, I just had one.

I can go a couple of months
without doing another one.

So I'm fine.

But eventually, you know,
I was doing it every day.

I mean, I was making.

So much money and about 90 percent
of everything I was making was

going to pay my drug dealers.

And I had moments of sobriety
times when I would get off it

for a year and I get back on it.

I go back and forth, but, um, I'd
always end up back on the stuff again.

I remember one time I thought I
was, I was so proud of myself.

I had went a whole year without drinking,
smoking, or doing any kind of drugs.

So I felt like I should
go out and celebrate.

You know how I went out and celebrated?

Everything.

I did everything.

I felt like I deserved it.

So, yeah, I've been there.

That was my life for
a long period of time.

Can I ask you a question?

Uh, yes.

I, I thank God I never did crack
because I probably would've killed me.

But, uh, when you do crack,
how long does the effect last?

Now, I'm not an expert, so,
um, I don't, I'm, I'm, let

me, let me ask you a question.

Have you ever done Coke before?

No.

Okay.

Well.

Cocaine, you snorted up your nose
and it lasts a nice long time.

It gives you a nice mellow buzz.

It's really, really nice and mellow.

When you do crack cocaine,
it's like you took that whole

mellow buzz and compressed it.

Into like five minutes of it, like
it takes you, it just, it just,

it, it, it's a real big rush and
it, but it doesn't last long.

It lasts about five,
maybe 15 minutes tops.

So yeah.

Okay.

Right away.

You want to do some more and
you want to do some more.

You want to do some more.

You want to do some more.

Um, me and this girl, we
used to have this joke.

We used to play, we'd look at each other
right before we, we do our first set.

And I said, I meet you on planet nine.

I'll meet you on planet, take a hit.

And we'd be in our own little world.

Yeah.

You know, I've, I've seen
guys, they get really paranoid.

They would like this one, guy, he would go
and he would hide under the kitchen table

because he thought police were getting
ready to kick the door in any minute.

I never could do that because I felt like
if any type of drug that I did was going

to make me that paranoid, why do it?

Because you can't enjoy it.

And, um, a lot of people like to blame the
drugs and it gets to the point where the

drugs are the problem, but they are never
the, uh, the initiator of the problem.

The initiator of the problem was
my childhood and what I, what, what

I was lacking from my childhood.

And I didn't even know that, you
know, I was lacking guidance.

I was lacking a father.

I was lacking a mother that
I felt like they didn't care.

And All those things that I really
needed that I didn't know I needed

is what led me to the drugs.

Now the drugs eventually became the
problem, but until I go back and I

find out what the initiator of that
problem was and deal with that trauma,

I could never get off the drugs.

That's why I would stay sober
for a year and get back on it.

Or I do six months, a year,
you know, doesn't matter how

long I stayed off the drugs.

I always got back on it because
I never went back and dealt

with that initial trauma.

Um.

It wasn't until I checked myself
because I always had a job.

That's one thing.

I always worked, had to pay for my habit.

I wasn't about the bum.

I wasn't that type of guy that's
going to go out in the street

and try to hustle for my money.

No, I'm getting me a J.

O.

B.

It got so bad.

I've been doing budget since I
was 21 years old, I used to budget

drugs into my monthly budget, I
would have rent, electricity, crack,

laundry, and I would budget it in.

One time I was waiting tables.

And, um, I would, sometimes I would
scratch my, my budget down on a sheet of

paper, you know, just until I got home.

And this girl found my budget and she
said, you really shouldn't put drugs on

your budget . And I said, oh, shoot, I,
I, I left that line around somewhere.

So, um, but you know, that was me.

So I always had a job.

I always worked, I always felt, I,
I I led a life that, um, you know,

people that worked with me and
that saw me, had to see me one way.

When I went out and did my drugs, I made
sure that I went to places where I felt

were the most And lack of a better word,
most negative people possible because

I didn't want those two worlds to mix.

In other words, in this world, I
would never run into the people over

here, like my family or people I
work with or people that saw me as

maybe an upstanding citizen, those
that maybe did see me that way.

So when I did my drugs, I always went
to neighborhoods or places where it

was like really, really bad because
I would never run into those people.

That way I can keep those
two worlds separate.

Man, that was a lot of work, man.

That was so much work.

I lied.

I used to sit down sometimes
and just think up lies.

I had this whole story laid out in
my mind, how I would lie in order

to get money from this person or to
lie to one of my girlfriends about

where I was or whatever it was.

It was just this elaborate stories.

I would tell to the point where
sometimes I, I would get high

and I would actually believe in
myself because I'd be so out of it.

But, um, like I said, that was my life
until, uh, I woke up one day in this

crack house and I was in my underwear.

I'll be honest with you.

And I had this shirt on and I didn't
even know where the shirt came from.

And there was one thing that I knew, I
knew I couldn't live my life like this

anymore, but I didn't know how to stop.

But I knew that I could get
my life together for a while.

I could get my job back.

I could get my fiancee back because
at the time I was engaged, I can

even, I even knew how to repair
the relationship with my son.

I knew how to do all these things
because I could talk my way into

anything, but what I didn't know how
to do was how do I not end up back

here again after I got everything back?

Cause that was my way.

I would.

Talk my way back into everybody's
good graces, get my job back,

save up a little bit of money.

But as soon as I did that, I said,
how do I not end up here again?

And I couldn't answer that question.

So that's when I quit my job, gave up my
apartment and I checked myself into rehab.

This was at the, um, the
adult rehabilitation center

in Jacksonville, Florida.

And, um, I was there for
us for a six month program.

And, uh, I was pretty serious about
getting my life together at that point.

That was kind of like almost
right before you met me.

I think you met me when
I left that center.

But two months into that center, I needed
a belt because I didn't, I, when you

go there, you have nothing and you're
not supposed to steal, but I figured,

you know, I need a belt for my pants.

So I stole the belt.

I got caught.

And I remember one of the residential
advisors took me in the office

and said, we have two choices.

We can either kick you out of the
program for stealing, or you can

start the program all over again.

So I took that as God giving
me even another chance.

And at that point, I didn't really
know God like I know him today.

And I was just so thankful for that.

Because I thought for sure I was gone.

I was even thinking to myself how I was
going to be back out on the streets again.

And I'm thinking to
myself, are you kidding me?

I'll start the program over again.

I'll stay here as long as
you need me to stay here.

And I'll never steal anything
again in my entire life.

So I looked at that as a blessing.

A lot of guys would have just
kind of walked away as they bump

this I'm not starting over again
because you got to start over.

You got to take all these classes
again, but it was a blessing to me.

And I was in the office talking to my
counselor, about a week later, and I

remember just breaking down in front
of her and she just took me by the hand

and took me to the chapel and that's
when I rededicated my life to Christ.

And, uh, God became everything
in my life from that moment on.

It was, it was just, I can't
even describe that feeling.

I'm thinking about it now
and it's just kind of,

yeah.

So after that day, I mean, my, my life
really changed because I mean, I was

in the center, but, and I was trying
to do the right thing, but, you know,

giving your life to Christ and making him
everything in your life, it changes you.

Everything became so important to me to
do the right thing, and not because of

the rules and the regulations, but because
of the way he looked at me, and for what

he forgave me for, because I was nothing.

Anyway, uh, I remember, um, going
to this room to be by myself,

just reading the Bible and just
trying to understand it and study.

I remember seeing guys there and they
would steal, uh, Smoked cigarettes and

do other things and you know, I didn't
pass judgment on anybody, but none

of that was for me anymore I mean, I
couldn't do anything but what I thought

was gonna honor God Eventually, I took
over running the dock at the Salvation

Army and every guy before me that took
over running the dock would always

they were always like Get tips from people
that would come, like we'd have the public

that would come in during auction days
and they weren't supposed to take money.

And these guys, they would
stack up all this money.

And when I took over the doc, you
know, I didn't do any of that.

I just, I just couldn't bring myself to
do anything that was going against what,

um, you know, what God wanted me to do.

You know, there's one
thing I live my life by.

It's like, um, you have these
rules in society, right?

And then you have God's law.

So I follow the rules of society.

As long as they don't go against God's
law, you know, if God says not to steal,

so, you know, even though in society,
some people feel it's okay to steal,

you know, I'm not going to do it.

I'm not supposed to lie and, uh,
it's, it's not, it's, it's difficult

to really understand because people
will think, okay, as a Christian, you

know, you live by all these rules and
it's not the rules that guide me, but

it's my love of Christ that guides me.

It's not that I'm afraid of breaking the
rules and said, I don't want to disappoint

the person that gave everything for me.

That's what drives me, you know,
following the rules is just

a by product of loving God.

When you have a relationship with Christ,
you can't base it on anything that anybody

else says or when anybody else does, it
has to be personal between you and him.

Now you can have people disciple you.

I've got a lot of people in my life
that I respect and that I go to advice.

You're one of them.

Rick Lee is another, Pastor Darrell, but I
don't place any of you guys on a pedestal.

Because I realized as much as I
love and I respect so many people

in this world that they are people.

So, I didn't know at that
time that the Holy Spirit came

inside me, but I know now.

I didn't know what it was at the
time when I gave my, I, I just

started crying uncontrollably.

I went to the chapel, I went, I kneeled
down and uh, I remember uh, one of the

um, chaplains came by and put his hand on
my shoulder and I couldn't stop shaking.

And the Holy Spirit, it was convicting
me, everything in my mind was, I

was thinking about all that stuff
that I had done all that horrible

things that I had done in my life.

And God was going to accept me back into
his family, even though I did all that.

So I felt like, man, I cannot
let this person down again,

but I thought that I would.

And I, I didn't think I was worthy and
I think that's why I was, you know, just

so grateful and so thankful and I think
that's what strengthened my relationship.

It became paramount to
me not to disappoint God.

That became more important to me
than anything else in the world.

Anything.

I can't describe how important
that was to me because I felt

like I didn't deserve it.

You know, who does that?

Who, who, who, who takes a person
like me after all the stuff that I've

done and just say, Hey, come on home.

It's all good.

You know, so, and, uh, It was the Holy
Spirit convicting me and then I, if

I tell you that I never got tempted
again, I get tempted all the time.

I think about, I still have
drug dreams is what I call them.

Sometimes I'm driving in the car and I'm
thinking about doing all kinds of stuff.

But before I go out and I do
anything, I think about all that God

has forgiven me for and everything
that he has put in my life today.

And it's not worth it to me.

It's not worth it.

But that was just part
of the process, Jesse.

You have to have a strong relationship
with Christ and that only comes

from truly connecting your heart.

It's got to come from here.

You can say the words.

People say I'm a Christian.

You can memorize the Bible.

Um, I still have a hard
time memorizing scripture.

But, um, I think that in
order to be a Christian, you,

it has to be from the heart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you used the word family.

I mean, it was like, I don't know
if you heard yourself, but you, you

said it was like finding a family.

I don't remember your exact
words, but it, so you, you

started to see God as your father.

Yeah.

It was more than like that.

I mean, he was my father, my
teacher, um, my counselor.

He was everything to me.

I mean, saying he was my father
is a good thing to say, but it's

so much more than just that.

It really is.

I never knew my father,
well, not really well.

So, and that was one of the things that
I had to work through, but, um, God

became everything to me and, uh, for
those next, uh, I think it was like

four months that I was in that center.

It was, uh, it was important to me.

These are the things that became
important to me, not to judge.

I couldn't judge anyone because.

You know, God didn't judge me.

He didn't care what I did.

So I didn't want to be
that type of person.

I, um, I wanted to honor God in everything
I did, even when I was by myself.

You know, and I just really wanted
to, um, to learn more about who God

was and how to spend time with him.

So those things were where
I spent most of my time.

And, uh, you know how they say, when
you give your life to Christ, everybody

thinks, Oh, angels are coming in.

Your life's going to be easy.

We as Christians know that once you
give your life to Christ, that's

when the devil starts looking at you.

So things started getting tough for me.

They really did.

People who I thought was like in a
position that worked for the center

that I thought I should be looking up to
were treating me in a way that I said,

how can these people treat me this way?

They're supposed to be role
models for me to look at.

I mean, uh, this one chaplain, he
used to get up and preach in front

of us and he would curse at us.

He would call us a bunch of,
um, bums and you know, just

all kinds of stuff like that.

And I said, well, how could he say
that about, I mean, how is that going

to help us to become better men?

Yeah.

Uh, there was this one guy
that stole the shirt from me.

He was one of the RAs
that worked on floor.

And when I went to his room, just to
ask for my shirt back, I got cursed out.

So a little bit of the old me wanted
to come out and give him a little

what for, but God stayed my hand.

He stayed my hand and I ended
up just saying, okay, the shirt

wasn't that important, you know.

Um, and it really wasn't, you
know, but we, we get a limited

amount of clothing in there.

So it was, to me, it seemed like
it was important, but you know,

you take that time to let the Holy
Spirit say, Hey, you know what?

I'll get you another shirt.

I'll get you a better shirt.

So you have to, you have to really
allow the Holy Spirit to work in you

because we still live in this flesh.

So when something happens.

The flesh wants to immediately react.

I get mad.

I want to immediately, you know,
hit somebody, do something.

But if I take a moment and I let
the Holy Spirit rest in my soul, it

helps me to think things through.

And it's like, okay, well,
maybe I'll do this another way.

But without the Holy Spirit
there guiding you, you'll react.

And I think that's why a lot of people
just, you know, if it feels good, do it.

I used to be that person.

So you have to take time.

You know, they say God's
time isn't like our time.

Anyway, when I left the center, I
left with a guy that was, uh, you may

have remembered this guy named Britt.

I, I stayed with him.

He offered to let me live with him.

And, uh, you know, after I started living
with him, things change, you know, he

started going back out doing stuff.

He treated his wife really bad.

I mean, he didn't even tell her
I was going to be living there.

So she got mad at me.

Then he wanted me to pay
him everything I had.

And I told him, look, You know,
I'm not going to have much money.

I have to find a job.

And then after I find a job, I
want to try to get out of your

house as quick as possible.

So I'm going to give you what I
can, but I want to save because

I figured the best thing that I
could do for you is to move out.

I appreciate you helping me, but I
mean, this is you and your wife's home.

I don't want to stay here forever.

But, um, he made it really difficult for
me to the point where, you know, I just,

Felt uncomfortable, but, um, I remember
he had let me hold his bike to ride back

and forth to work and I appreciated that.

And, uh, one day I was going to
get the bike to go to work and

the bike was all taken apart.

And he said, well, it's my bike.

I needed to take it apart.

And I said, well, that's okay.

I get it.

It's your bike.

But I said, it would have been nice for
you to tell me this before, you know, it's

like 15 minutes for me to get to work.

So I run over to Barnabas.

And I see a bike over there and
I tell the woman, I said, look,

I'm on my way to work right now.

Can you, uh, I'm going to, this
is gonna make me cry again.

I'm sorry, but, um, can
you hold this bike for me?

And I'll promise I'll come
back right after work.

I said, don't sell it.

I'm going to come back and buy 15 minutes.

He said, where do you work?

I told her I work in Abbey.

He said, go ahead and take the bike.

And I said, but I have,
I don't have any money.

He said, just pay me when you come back.

And man, Jesse, I tell you, it
was, it wasn't a great bike.

It was only 15.

But I felt God's hand over all of that.

I mean, that bike, you know, it was,
that was everything to me at that time,

because who would trust me, take a
bike, you know, I mean, because, I mean,

it doesn't really mean a whole lot.

But here I am some black
guy coming into your store.

You never met me before.

You don't know me.

I tell you, hold on to a bike.

I didn't even expect her
to hold on to the bike.

I just thought I'd give it a try.

She, she let me take the bike.

And, um.

It, uh, it was paramount to me to
make sure I went back and paid that.

And I did, I went back
and paid for the bike.

In less than a month,
I was out of his house.

In less than a month after
that, I bought a car.

Um, God was able to, um, just to help
me to do all those things, you know,

because I couldn't do anything on my own.

Um, I remember walking into the
Journey Church, uh, meeting Kim Bales,

nicest person I ever met in my life.

And after that, that was my home church.

I hadn't met Tamara yet because I
was still trying to get back with my,

uh, with my son's mother, my one, the
woman that I had left in Jacksonville.

I thought for sure God was going
to repair that relationship.

You know, I'd even gotten
some advice from Ben Hall and

Jonathan Mark about what to do.

And so I wrote her a letter and
all this stuff, but, you know,

she just told me she had moved on.

God just completely slammed
that door in my face.

And I mean, that was
one of my whole things.

And so I was kind of at a crossroads
at that time because I thought, okay.

This is what I thought
was going to happen.

I was going to come down here, you
know, get my life together and get

back with my children's mother and
we were going to have that life that

we thought we were going to have.

I thought for sure that was God's
plan for me, but God had another plan.

And in my mind, I said,
well, you know what?

If she's not getting back to me,
what am I doing all this for?

I was so close to walking
across the street where I lived.

And I could just tell from the
neighborhood where to get the drugs from,

you know, when you are out there in the
streets, you know, so I knew I could

go and get what I wanted to get and get
high and just let my troubles go away.

But instead, I went into my little
apartment, and I put on some Christian

music, and it was the hardest thing in
the world Jesse I take for me to sit

there and just get into that music.

I don't think I really listened to
it I was just trying to drown out.

The other voice in my
head, and that was hard.

I spent like a week doing that.

And then finally, like I said, I gave
the Holy Spirit time to work on my flesh.

That took a while, because that was the
closest I came to going back out there

again after giving my life to Christ.

So I'm not perfect, even as a Christian,
you know, but, um, I didn't go.

You know, I, I allowed him to work
on me, took some time, but it did.

And then I don't know if you know,
uh, Jeanette Richo, she was, uh, she

used to work at the salvation army
and I would go down, uh, donate my

time when I couldn't find a job.

And she said, I have this girl.

I want you to meet
athletic and real smart.

And my first thing I said, Oh my
God, she must look like a dog.

I'm very honest.

That's my first thought, but I love Janet.

So I said, okay, Janet, I'll meet her.

And I didn't want to, I really
didn't want to meet her.

I just didn't really want to meet
anybody to be honest with you.

And so then I was going to the
Germany church, but Janet, she

was a pastor at her church.

So I, I said, after church, I'll come by.

Cause you know, their church goes long.

So I went over there and I was,
my plan was to go up there, meet

this girl, say, Hey, how you doing?

My name is Clarence.

Nice to meet you.

Got to go.

And I was going to be out the
door cause I had things to do.

But, um, Tamara came walking up the
stairs and she looks pretty good.

So I said, I'll sit and I'll
talk for a little while.

And, um, We talked for over
an hour, I mean, and, uh, you

know, that was, that was it.

I mean, God had placed her in my life and,
you know, I, she was the type of girl that

I would have never, ever been interested
in if I had met her five years prior and

if she'd have met me five years prior,
she would have had nothing to do with me.

She was smart.

She was intelligent.

And most of the women that I met
before that was smart and intelligent.

I didn't want to have time with them
because to me, they were so condescending.

It's like they were trying
to put me in my man's place.

But Tamari never did that.

I mean, she was very smart, very, very
sure of herself, but she was also kind.

In a way that I never met a woman like
that before that could, that could

be that way and still be, you know,
approachable and talk to, you know, most

of the women I've spent my time around
where I hate to say have a fast women.

So anyway, but, um, yeah, that was
a, we, um, Well, you know that story.

So I know I kind of jumped all over
the place, but, um, uh, the way

I was able to, um, to keep myself
off of drugs was Christ, of course.

But, you know, there's this story
where this guy's in the ocean, right?

And he's a Christian, he believes in
God, and a ship comes by to save him.

And he said, that's okay.

God's got me.

Okay.

So the ship goes on.

Then a helicopter comes by to pick him up.

He said, that's okay.

God's got me.

God's going to save me.

So the helicopter leaves.

So then an airplane drops down a
ladder and these emergency guys

try to, he said, Nope, that's okay.

God's got me.

I got faith in God.

God's going to save me.

So they go.

So the guy stays out there in
the ocean and he ends up dying.

So he goes to heaven and he said,
God, Why didn't you save me?

This guy said, well, I sent a ship.

I sent a helicopter.

I sent a plane, but you
didn't get on any of them.

My point is that, you know, having
faith in God does not mean that we

just wait for this gigantic miracle
to come and change our lives.

Sometimes we got to do the work
and we have to notice when God is

working in our lives, you know?

So I had to do the work.

I had to go to men's fraternity and
I had to deal with a lot of, issues

that I didn't want to deal with.

I had to face a lot of things about my
childhood that I didn't want to face.

You know, I had to have a lot of
hard conversations about, you know,

basically not loving, not really
liking my mother very much, about

blaming my dad for leaving my mom.

Um, never having a decent
male role model in my life.

And my father died before I got a chance
to really confront him with anything.

So then I was left like, well,
how do I even resolve this?

But, you know, there are ways to do
things, even if people have passed

before you get a chance to talk
to him about the things that they

may have done to cause you trauma.

So I wrote him a letter.

I remember I always planned to
go to his grave site and have

a talk with him at the grave.

I never got a chance to do that.

But, you know, I did have a chance to
really prey on it a lot and talk about

it and realizing that these are the
things that made me into the person that

I was, and it helped me to move past it.

You know, to this day, me and
my mother don't have a great

relationship, but I love her and I
no longer blame her for my childhood.

It comes to a point in a person's
life, sometimes even as a

teenager, that you have to take
responsibility for your actions.

And I did a lot of things.

My mother did the best she could.

She had six kids and she was broke.

I mean, she may have not did everything
perfect, but she did the best she could.

And I had, it took me a
long time to get past that.

And you know, you never going to,
you know, God's not just going to,

he can, he can fix and do anything,
but it's not always going to be,

you know, the Lord just waves his
hand and all your problems go away.

You know, we have to get
in there and do the work.

He will give you the ability and
he will put people in your life.

that will help you to work through
these things, but you have to

accept it and you have to do it.

And, uh, Christ will never leave you.

He will always be there with you.

You know, he's not going to
fix every one of your problems.

Not that he can't, you know, as human
beings, we have to understand that

sometimes by going through things,
we come out better in the end, you

know, but we have to go through it
because if we don't go through it,

then we'll never learn anything.

And we will remain the same selfish.

People in the end.

I don't know.

Some people just don't really get that.

It's like, I don't know how to make
diamonds, but I know when it starts

out, it's not this nice, shiny thing.

It has to go through a process,
you know, a painful one.

Yeah, painful one.

But it comes out better in the end.

So you say, okay, well, well, why
do we have to go through the pain?

Why can't we just come
out better in the end?

Because, you know, it
just don't work that way.

You don't just become a good person just
because you don't go through anything.

You have to go through this thing.

Um, because I don't know if
that's just the way things are.

Laws of nature, you know, we're
not going to become better people

unless we learn how to do it.

If children are given whatever they want.

Do you think that they're going
to grow up to be great people?

Yeah, there's a slim chance
one in every 500 might do that.

But most kids, if you just give
them whatever they want their

entire life, they're going to be
selfish, self absorbed people.

That's why you have to discipline them.

You have to teach them.

You have to learn.

And, uh, you know, sometimes as human
beings, we have to go through things.

And I, and I had to go through a lot
to become the person that I was today.

And I'm still going through things.

Um, to this day, I still
struggle with sexual immorality.

Um, this, you know, with technology,
there's things on my phone

that I happen to look at that
I have to turn off right away.

My mind tends to wander sometimes.

Maybe I might look at a
young lady a little too long.

I might think something in my head.

But, uh, my wife told
me this many years ago.

She said, it's okay for a
bird to fly around your head.

Just don't let him land and build a nest.

So there ain't no nesting.

She's very wise.

Yes, she is.

And I still struggle.

So it's, it's not easy, but it's a
whole lot easier than it used to be.

I rely on God for everything.

You know, when I make a mistake and
I still make mistakes, I mess up.

I go to him immediately.

I own it.

Um, where before I used to make excuses
for my mistakes, now I own my mistakes.

Yes, I messed up.

Yes, I did this.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Sometimes it's as simple as that.

You know, you have to turn away from those
things and, uh, learn something from it.

Because if you make a mistake and you
make excuses for that mistake, well,

then you'll never learn anything.

And you're bound to make that
mistake over and over again.

But if you own that mistake
and you take ownership of it.

You realize what you did was wrong.

You repent from it.

You can turn away from it, and hopefully
you won't make that mistake again.

And if it does, you know, you'll make
it a lot less than you did before.

Mm hmm.

So, and.

Well, you know, when you were telling
me about how you, when you're, I think

it was your first wife who said she
shut the door and she wasn't, you

aren't going to have that relationship.

You're, you're tempted to go back out.

The fact that you forced yourself
to put yourself in your apartment

and listen to Christian music and
just you toughed it out for a week.

I mean, that was extraordinary.

That to me, that was like,
uh, that was the Holy Spirit.

I mean, that was, uh, like.

When you, as you're talking now about
going through things and dealing

with, uh, life the way that you do
is that, that initial thing with

the, uh, resisting the drugs was.

So illustrative of how you handle life.

You just, you really are extraordinary
in that way, because a lot of people

are caged in face of all these
difficulties, especially knowing

that drugs would be a quick answer.

I spent so many years
hiding what I was doing.

I mean, I could, I could, I hate to
say it, but I could teach a class

on how to get away with doing drugs.

I used to be, I used to go to this
restaurant and I would go in the bathroom.

Well, and I would, I would, I would
hit the crack and then I would.

Cut the vent on and I would
blow the smoke up in the vent.

I would wash my hands, wash
my face, spray on cologne.

And I'd be back out there in front
of the customers waiting table.

I mean, sometimes if the vent wasn't
working, I knew how to flush the toilet

at the right time to blow it down.

I hope I'm not teaching.

But I'm saying I know ways to
get away from, but you know what?

All of that doesn't mean
anything because throughout.

My life after I became a Christian,
God has shown me so many times

that he was there for me.

There was this one incident
with Pastor Darrell, and Pastor

Darrell didn't know me very well.

I mean, we had just met, I don't
know, a couple of months, and you

know, he's a pastor of the church.

He meets a lot of people.

He wanted to sell this refrigerator
that was in the back, and people

were coming by to pick it up.

He said, he says, look, Trans, I'm
I was helping at the food ministry.

He said, these people will
come by to pick up this fridge.

I think they're gonna pay about six, seven
hundred dollars, something like that.

I need you to get that money for me.

Just hold on to it.

And then bring it by tomorrow.

And I looked at him and I said,
Do you know who you're talking to?

I mean, do you know me?

You want me to collect six or
seven hundred dollars for you?

I mean, what if it was
seven and I said it was six?

Or, what if I said they didn't?

I mean, why would you trust me?

You don't even know me.

I didn't say this, but this
was going on in my head.

And so he looked at me like it was
just matter of factly like, you know,

Hey, this is what I asked people to do.

So it became paramount for me to get that
money to make sure I get a receipt to

make sure I get it back to him, because
if he was going to take a chance and trust

me so, I don't know, just so carelessly.

It was no way I was going to let him down.

And God kept doing stuff and
putting things in my life like that.

And, you know, those are the things
that would happen in my life that

would reassure me that the Holy
Spirit, God was always with me.

God was, he was, he wasn't
judging me from my past.

You know, I know people hear you
hit all the time when you give

your life to Christ, you know,
You're no longer that person.

You are reborn and you know, it
might get kind of muddled up.

People say, Oh, I'm reborn.

Um, they don't understand
it, but you truly are reborn.

You, you are the same person.

You're in the same skin.

You have the same thoughts,
but you are not the same.

You are not the same because, and here
is, I'm going to simplify it for anybody

that's thinking about it because before
when this happened, I would do that.

Now, when this happens,
I do something else.

And the something else that I do is
a positive thing that honors God.

And why do I do that?

Because I take the time to let the Holy
Spirit guide my flesh rather than respond.

Because that's what we do as human beings.

We respond in the flesh.

We do this, we do that, we do that.

This happens, boom.

The Holy Spirit, all it really
does is it gives you time.

To sit back and let God guide
you and if you do that, I mean,

I don't know, it's, it's really.

Yeah, I don't want to let that
point go by without people.

Really hearing it because you've said
it twice now, that just taking the time

to pause before you react and listen
to the Holy Spirit is so, so important.

I mean, I, I know because I've,
I haven't done it so many times.

I have really messed up by not.

Just pausing and you know, there's
another thing with, if you don't mind

me taking up this time in the same
vein, you know, when we talk about

anger, you know, it's so easy to get
triggered and to be angry and I've made

the mistake so many times of just not.

Waiting just to just, you know,
how they used to say count to 10.

Well, there is a thing that I learned
the hard way is that when we get

angry, there's this, this hormone
cortisol, it shoots through our body

and it's the fight or flight response.

But, but that hormone has a
life span of about 90 seconds.

So if we could just give it some time
and let that Let that hormone get through

our body, then we're less likely to
make some really stupid decisions and

say some things that we're going to
regret, do some things we would regret.

Man, I learned that the hard
way, but I love your point.

You've made it pretty powerfully,
and I think people need to hear that.

It's just pause.

You know, and, and in the big book,
you know, it says cause when agitated

or doubtful and ask God for help.

That pause is so important.

It is.

Thank you for, for bringing that up.

I mean, that's a bad at me and my wife.

We, uh, We still argue from time to time.

I gotta be honest with you, that's
probably one of the most difficult times.

When I gotta, um, you really
need to pause with your wife.

You don't want to say something.

Yep.

Yeah.

I love my wife.

She's great.

She's intelligent.

She's beautiful.

But you know, we, we, we have conflict.

And, um, it's that thing where it says,
uh, never go to bed on your anger.

I will admit that we do honestly
try to do that, but there

are some times when we fail.

But, uh, I will say this.

We always, even sometimes if it takes
a day, we will always come back and

we, we will deal with the conflict.

That's one thing I never used to do.

I never dealt with conflict.

If I'm mad at you, I ain't
talking to you, I ain't looking

at you, I ain't, I don't know you.

Right.

But you have to, you have to
learn to deal with conflict.

Right.

Sounds like you've done
a pretty good job there.

I mean, we never, I don't think we ever
get to the point where we don't get angry.

We don't have conflict.

It's just, we got to deal with it in a
mature way and you, thank you for bringing

that up because people need to hear that.

Yeah.

Pray with your wife.

We pray together.

We pray every morning.

Me too.

Me and Becky play every
day, every morning.

Before we leave, I go to work
and she does her thing, but

constantly, uh, it's a thing.

A lot of people I heard on the, uh,
Christian radio program the other

day about how it's a certain large
percentage of even Christians Couples

don't pray together because it's too
personal and I think yeah I mean it

took us a while to get there, but
we we can't live without it now.

Oh, man It's so powerful.

Two or more are in agreement.

We're just coming before the Lord.

Man, he answers prayers
all the time for us.

Just amazing how he, he comes, he
comes through in every situation.

And, um, pray with your
wife and pray for your wife.

And we even pray with our son.

And I'm going to tell
you, 17 year old boy.

It's, it's not always
easy to play with him.

This one woman came into a restaurant, me
and Terrence were sitting down in there

and she just, we knew her because her
son, you play basketball with Terrence.

And um, I asked her about her husband
and she just started telling us about

how her and her husband separated.

We're going through a
divorce and all this stuff.

And me and Terrence are like, my
gosh, I mean, I couldn't believe

you're just telling us all
this right out here in public.

So, um, I mean, I just listened.

You know, I mean, we knew her, but
I mean, I just, I felt a little

uncomfortable, but you know, she
wanted to pour her heart out.

I was going to listen.

And when she was done and she looked
like she was about ready to cry.

So I grabbed her hand,
I grabbed my son's hand.

I said, let's, let's pray right now.

So we sat there in the
middle of the restaurant.

I think we're at, um,
some, uh, what was that?

Chipotle's and we just prayed for her.

You know, and later on after that, she
called my wife and she was going on and on

about how that was just everything to her.

It picked her up and thank you for
your son and your and your husband.

And you know, I don't know, I just I think
it's important to do stuff like that.

You know, pray with people and it's not
so important to pray with them in public.

But it's important to pray with them
when you're being urged to do it,

whether you're in public or not.

Bible talks about, you know, um, some
of the, I don't know, people that were

praying in public just to be seen.

And there's nothing wrong with
praying in public, but if that's

the only reason you're doing it,
then, you know, you need to check.

But what you shouldn't do is you shouldn't
shy away from praying with people.

When you are urged to do it, right.

And, um, I still work on that.

Sometimes I get a little fool
people watching me, but you know,

there are times when I will break
through that and I'll just do it.

And the more you do
it, the easier it gets.

Well, what I hear you saying is you're
obedient to the, to the Holy Spirit.

Yeah, yeah.

I try my best to be.

Was there, if there was maybe one major
thing that you could share with somebody

out there, a believer or non believer, one
thing that you could, you could pass on to

somebody out there in the world, out there
in the future, or anybody who might just

happen to stumble across this podcast?

What, uh, What advice would you have?

The best advice I can give to somebody
is something that I learned and it

deals with trauma because I think
that word is, people try to make it

more complicated than it really is.

Trauma to me is anything that's
happened to you in your life that

You know, has caused you to act in
a negative way and trauma could be

something is could be as big as maybe
your dad walking out or maybe you were

bullied as a child, but whatever it is.

And I know it's hard.

We have to learn to deal with that initial
trauma in our lives, whatever it is.

And I think that's important I think
there's so many people deal with traumas

that they don't sometimes I was dealing
with trauma that I didn't even know was.

I blame my dad for things.

And I didn't, I didn't even realize
that I blamed him for anything.

So my one advice is to find out
what is that one thing in your life?

That may cause you to be this way
if you feel like you're, you're

living your life in a negative way,
because it's always trauma is always

the root to our negative behavior.

It's something that happened.

And sometimes it's difficult to find it
but it's important to find it because

if you don't find it and deal with it.

Yeah, it's your life is never
going to be quite right.

Right.

So that's really important.

Yes.

I know so many people
that need to hear that.

Well, anything else you want to add?

Uh, I don't want to, um, touch it short.

No, I mean, just love God, love
people, love God, love people.

I will share one more thing because
I, I learned a lot and I like to

share because things, these are
things that used to confuse me.

Cause a lot about, you know,
Christianity used to confuse me.

And I remember I was in this class and we
were learning how to, to hear from God.

I'm like, how do you hear from God?

I don't, I don't hear none.

Is he talking?

So he used this example,
Rick Lee used this example.

And he said, um, cause I, I got a
big mouth and I talk a lot, you know?

And so Rick said, if, um, if
everybody closed their eyes.

People that didn't know me and I started
talking with, they know it was me

and they probably wouldn't knows me.

So Rick said, if I close my eyes and
Clarence started talking, I would know it

was him, even though I couldn't see him.

And the reason why he would know it was
me is because he spent time with me.

He got used to me.

He, he knows me.

So even if he doesn't see me, when he
hears my voice, he recognized it was me.

So he used that point to say.

The reason why we don't hear from
God is because we don't know God.

We don't spend time with him.

But the more time we spend with God,
the more time we get to know him,

then we will start to notice the
things in our lives that are from God.

So how do you spend time with God?

Well, One of the easiest ways to spend
time with God is in his word, read your

Bible, you could spend time with God
by speaking to people that you know

are following the Lord, people that
you respect, and you can go to church.

So you, and then one of the most
important one is prayer, either one of

those things and if you don't know how
to pray pray is just talking to God.

So spend time doing those things.

And at first it might seem awkward.

It might seem, Oh, I
don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what I'm reading,
but keep doing it anyway.

Keep doing it anyway.

And eventually you'll start to
notice how God communicates with you.

God communicates with
you in a lot of ways.

It could be a big booming
voice, but it might not be.

One time we drove our car off a
95 going like 80 miles an hour.

We pulled down on Pecan Park Boulevard.

And as soon as we pulled down on Pecan
Park Boulevard, we got a flat tire and

I pulled over the side of the road.

I got out the car, me and my wife, we
prayed and we thank God for flattened

our tire because if our tire would have
gotten flat on 95, we probably wouldn't

have been alive to talk about it.

So that was a way that God was
communicating with me saying,

Hey, look, man, I got you.

And I wouldn't have noticed that now,
had I not been spending time with God,

I'd be like, man, I got a flat tire.

Now I gotta do this.

I gotta do that.

And that would have been my attitude.

That would have been
most people's attitude.

But my attitude was thank you,
God, for making that tire hold off.

Until we got on a secondary road where we
were not going that fast because when a

tire bops like that, it can go anytime.

So that's an example to see that,
you know, you will hear from God

and you can communicate with God.

If you spend time with him, the more
time you spend with anybody, I know your

voice, whether I'm looking at you or not.

Because I spent time with you.

I know what you sound like.

I've gotten used to you.

The same thing works with God.

And that's one thing that used to
really confuse me when I was early

in my Christian life and learning,
how do I, how do I hear from God?

But um, I learned that if you spend time
with Him, just like you would anybody

else, you will eventually learn to
hear the way He communicates with you.

That is so, so awesome.

So beautiful.

Yeah, about, I guess it was maybe five
or six years ago, I saw, you know,

Jesus said, and John, I think it's
1027, he says, my sheep hear my voice.

I know them and they follow me and I said,
Lord, I want to learn what that means.

I want to hear your voice and everything
that you just described is so true.

It's just so true.

You got to spend time with them.

You got to listen.

I mean, but I mean, it's just so awesome.

Like I'll be at work and I say, I'll drop.

A screw or something in the dirt
and first thing I do is I say,

Holy Spirit, will you show me?

Oh, thank you.

You know, he answers before I
even finished, you know, asking.

And sometimes I'll hear, it sounds like my
voice, I'm saying something really smart.

And I'm thinking, well, I know
that's not me, but that's God.

And, uh, you know, it happens.

And, uh, I think people really need
to hear what you just described

because it's so important.

You know, I've also heard the
analogy of, you know, a marriage.

You know, what if, what if I don't?

Talk to my wife.

I'm not going to have a
relationship if I don't talk to her.

So I found that if I just talk to
him throughout the day, he's going

to talk back and, uh, is so such a
intimate thing is, uh, it's hard to

describe, but I know what you mean,
and I know that there's somebody out

there that needed to hear that today.

I hope so.

God has been really great to me and,
uh, life isn't always easy, but, you

know, God's always there, always there.

Well, would you be willing to
pray for, uh, the people who, who

are listening to this podcast?

You know, think about this is what,
this is the miracle of, of modern

technology, which was not even
thought of, but when, when I was born

anyway, that we can do this podcast
and have it, it's going to exist.

Probably for, I don't know, another
century out there until they come up with

a technology that makes this one obsolete.

I don't know when that'll be, but somebody
somewhere along the way of it on some

part of the world, maybe even another
planet is going to hear this and they're

going to be able to, to get something
out of it, according to the Holy Spirit.

So, would you be willing
to pray for us today?

Certainly, man.

You know, they say once it's on the
internet, it's out there forever.

Yeah.

This prayer will be forever.

Dear Father God, I'd like to thank you
first and foremost for waking me up this

morning, Lord God, giving me another
breath of fresh air on this planet before

spending eternity with you, Lord God.

Dear Father God, I just want
to thank you, Lord God, for

opening my eyes, saving my life.

I thank you for all the, uh, the blessings
that you have placed in my life, most

importantly, the Holy Spirit that you
have given to me to help me just to,

um, to take a moment just to stop and
breathe and, and, and just to allow your

ways to work through my life, Lord God.

Well, God, I pray for all those people
that may be listening to this podcast

and for those who hearts that it may
touch and even those whose hearts that

it may not touch Lord God, I pray for
all those people, Lord God, that you

will just make yourself known to them
more God, that you will walk with them

as you have promised that you will help
guide them and open their ears, maybe

soften their heart a little Lord God.

And, uh, To just, just help them to,
uh, to see you, Lord God, as, as I

see you, as so many people see you,
Lord God, help them to know that

praying is a simple conversation.

What I'm doing right now is just having
a conversation with you, Lord God.

That's as, that's as simple
as praying is, Lord God.

It doesn't have to be this
long, difficult thing.

You don't have to have the
Bible memorized, Lord God.

All you need to do is
to spend time with you.

Um, I pray that you will help them get
some understanding, and if not, Lord

God, you will keep them reading the
Bible, reaching out to you, going to

church, just doing everything until
that understanding comes, Lord God.

I pray for guidance in their life.

I pray for you in their life, Lord God.

We just thank you for so many things.

The most important thing I would
like to personally thank you for,

Lord, is for giving us your son
Jesus that died for our sins.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank you so much.

Well, thank you, Jesse.

I appreciate the opportunity
just to sit here and have a

conversation with you, man.

Yeah, it's been great.

I've really gotten a lot
out of it, I'm telling you.

You know, I will say one more thing.

I know I talk a lot, but I didn't
even mention how I met you.

I'm sorry.

I skipped over that entire part.

I was, can I talk about AA here?

Is that okay?

Sure.

I mean, do you just, yeah,
I want to hear your version.

When I got out of the center in
Jacksonville, I'll make this short.

I, it came, it was important for
me to get connected to an AA group.

And I got connected to that AA group,
the one down in Million Island.

And that's when I met you, Jesse.

And, um, I remember I, it was really
important to me to find a sponsor.

But I didn't know how to ask
anybody and you just came up to me

and just offered to be my sponsor.

I didn't even know that people did that.

I thought we had to ask
people to be our sponsor.

I didn't know the process.

I didn't know what was going on, but I
just thought that was really awesome of

you to take all that pressure off of me
by just asking me, can you be my sponsor?

You know, and I, you, you, you just,
once again, that was God in my life.

And I recognize that.

And, um, I just thought you were this
wonderful, soft spoken young man and,

you know, and, uh, you just seemed
always so calm and so collective

and like nothing was going to rattle
you and you was just always smiling

and I said, I want to be like that.

I really want to be like that.

I want that kind of peace in my life.

And um, I like the fact that they.

Everything from you was coming was Christ
based and, um, cause I know AA start was

originally Christ based, but over time,
you know, in order to reach more people,

it, they kind of, some groups kind of
take their Christianity aspect out of it.

But the fact that you were a Christian
and that you can walk with me, became

my spot, wanted to be my sponsor
that, that was, that was cool.

That was everything paramount to me.

And I thank you for that.

It must have been the Holy
Spirit, because I don't remember.

I remember.

I remember we were sitting in that
front room in those chairs, those,

uh, those comfortable chairs.

Those were so comfortable.

We were talking, like, right after
one of our first meetings there.

I don't remember which one it was,
but I remember you had approached

me and, uh Yeah, it was cool.

Well, I had the Holy Spirit
because it's, you've been a real

blessing to me and I thank you.

Thank you.

And I, and I thank you for taking
the time to do this because you,

you, you're such a mature Christian.

You probably don't think
of yourself that way.

Of course you don't, because you're
too humble, but, uh, but, but there's

so many people that need to hear
what you had to say and I thank you.

Cailin: We hope you've been
blessed by today's story.

In case you haven't noticed, there
are no advertisements on this podcast

and we hope to keep it that way.

So if you've heard something that you
think could help someone you know, please

share it using the link in the show notes.

Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a
positive review on your podcast platform,

you could help more people find it.

You will probably never know how
that small effort can make a big

difference in someone's life.

But our Heavenly Father knows.

Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus
follower with a story to tell, please send

them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.

It may encourage them to tell their story.

That person may even be you.

Our only criteria is
that Jesus be glorified.

Most Christians don't share their
faith because they mistakenly think

their story is not interesting enough.

Or that it's self centered
to talk about themselves.

Or that they are not competent
to explain the gospel correctly.

But none of that is relevant.

If Jesus has changed your
life, you have a story to tell.

All of our stories are completely unique.

No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone

else through telling your experience.

All of our stories are completely unique.

No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone

else through telling your experience.

So don't be intimidated.

A story is just that, a true
account of your own experience.

And no one can disagree
with your experience.

When we tell what Jesus has done in
our lives, we are being obedient to his

command to go into all the world and
preach the gospel to every creature.

It's not about theology, and it's not
about how interesting or special you are.

It's all about Jesus.

So when you're ready to tell how Jesus
has impacted your life, you can let Jesse

know at his ministry website, jesseduke.

net.

There you can download guidelines
that will make it easy to

prepare to tell your story.

Thank you for listening today and Shalom.