Faith & Purpose

Welcome everyone to Faith
and Purpose Podcast.

Each episode of this podcast contains the
personal testimony of an ordinary person

transformed by an extraordinary guide.

My name is Kaylyn, and I'm
here to introduce this podcast

for my friend Jesse Duke.

Jesse is a husband, father,
author, life recovery guide, lay

counselor, and small group leader.

But his most important role is
disciple as a disciple of Jesus.

Jesse created this podcast to help other
believers tell their faith stories.

We'll be hearing the personal
testimonies of all sorts of people

who have one thing in common.

Jesus has transformed their lives.

as we listen to how God has worked in
others' lives, we find encouragement

and inspiration for our own faith walk.

Whether you are already a believer or
just a curious seeker, we believe that

as you listen to these stories, you will
be encouraged on your own faith journey.

We are sure that God can speak to you
through one of these episodes and that

you will see that our Heavenly Father
truly works all things together for our

good when we simply love and trust him.

If you are currently going through a
trial, we believe that you will come

to see that your troubles, heartbreaks
and failures are not gravestones, but

stepping stones into new life in Christ.

Here's Jesse with today's guest.

Jesse Duke: Welcome everybody to
Faith and Purpose Podcast today.

I'm very excited to have my friend
Carlos Serrano, to tell his story.

How you doing, Carlos?

I'm doing great, Jesse.

Great.

Thank you for having me here
and, for this, time that

we're gonna spend together.

So start at the beginning or tell
us about your childhood, your

growing up, and how the Lord has
brought you to where you are today.

Well, Jesse, it's been
really, uh, a journey.

I, if I may say so.

but like you already mentioned,
my name is, Carlos Serrano.

I was born in Puerto Rico back in
51, so that makes me 74 years old.

And, um.

Tell you a little bit of, my childhood.

Um,

my father's name was Carlos, of course.

I am Carlos Serrano.

Um, name after him.

My mother's name was, is Mercedeses.

my father, he was a fisherman.

He, you can say he was
jack of res in Puerto Rico.

And my mother, she was a housewife.

my father, a great man, a good man.

but he had a weakness
and that was alcohol.

he would drink and he would get
violent, and, so that caused

problems in the marriage.

My mother, of course, she was
a housewife, a, a woman that

Live with, Christian parents.

And she, and when she married my
father, and, so after four or five

years, after five years, the problem
of my father's drinking caused, a

separation where my mother, was afraid.

He never, never touched her, never,
abused her, but she was a woman that

was, afraid that, one day that my
father would hurt, you know, her in

some kind of way or either or me.

she decided to leave him and,
she, left from New Jersey.

I'm sorry, she left from Puerto Rico
to New Jersey where she had a sister.

And, and that was the, I guess that
was the beginning of my nightmare.

I.

Because I love my
father, I love my mother.

And next thing I knew, I was in
a plane heading to Philadelphia,

to a land that I had no idea.

so we went to New Jersey, and my mother,
she settled there with her sister.

And of course, the moment my father
heard about it, which, my father

wasn't in Puerto Rico at that time
because my father was a freshman

man, he worked, a different job.

But there was a time where there wasn't,
there was no work in Puerto Rico.

So he would fly to Brooklyn and he would
work there for a season, and of course he

would send my mother money and all that to
keep us going until he would return until

there would be work again in the island.

so he was, he happened that, he
was in New York at that time when

my mother went to New Jersey.

So as soon as he heard about it.

He, went to Jersey to see
her and to talk to her.

But now she was even more afraid
that, what would he do if she went

back with him after she did what
she did that, left the way she did.

So she was really afraid.

And then, of course, influence people
talking, saying things, but anyway,

to make a long story short, my mother
decided not to go back with my father.

And, I was caught up in the middle
because I wanted to be with my father.

I wanted to be with my
mother, and it was difficult.

So my father would, try to come
from New York every, couple weeks,

and he would come to the school
where they put me in, See me.

So he would wait for me after school and,
we would be together for a couple hours

and then he would go back to New York.

So that was working in me.

And then of course, I didn't know the
language, it was very hard for me.

I was in, in a situation where I
didn't understand the teachers.

I didn't understand, what was going on.

So I was, dealing with a lot, the bullying
in school because I didn't speak English.

the lack of not being able
to communicate with people.

So it was a rough time for me at that age.

I had to be about six or seven years old.

so anyway, one day my father
came to see me and I told my

father that I wanted to leave.

I wanted to be with
him, not with my mother.

And my father's, he just,
he said, you want to go?

let's go.

And, I left with him just like that.

My mother, of course, she
couldn't do nothing about it.

she didn't know how to speak English.

She didn't know how to anything.

She didn't know how to call
the police or whatever.

so anyway, I went to New York
with my father and things were

not like what I thought they were
gonna be because, my father was

working and now I wasn't in school.

it was hard for him to keep me.

he end up sending me to,
Puerto Rico to my grandparents.

House to his mom and my
grandfather, his dad.

And they were all already, they were old.

They were really old.

But anyway, they took me in
and, they put me in school.

So there, even though I missed my mother
and my father, because he stayed in

New York, my mother was in New Jersey.

So now I was living with my grandparents,
and at least I was back in my environment.

I was in school for a little while.

But, like I said, they were old.

they could not help me like with
my homework or anything like that.

So my grandmother used to like,
get some, some of the kids in the

neighborhood to help me with, my school,
work, homework and stuff like that.

so after a while, my parents, my
grandparents could not keep me no longer,

so they sent me back to my mother.

So now when I went back to my mother, It
so happened that she had met somebody,

I figured a couple years had gone
by, or a year or so I met somebody.

And I was there with her for a
while and the person that she had

met now, seems to really love her.

But, at first he showed, that he liked
me, but then he married my mother,

and then once he married my mother,
he showed his true colors that I

wasn't part of the picture, so we
haven't, we started having problems.

it seems like everything that I
did in the house, it bothered him.

If I open the refrigerator, bother him.

If I turn the TV on, bother him if
I go outside and play, bother him.

just about everything.

So we created an environment where,
was strive all the time between.

My mother, him, and me.

So my mother end up sending me to my
grandmother's house on my mother's side.

So I was with them, they were
old, like again, neither one

knew had a read or right.

And it was difficult, very
difficult living with this

grandmother on my mother's side.

So she kept me for a while and next thing
I know they sent me back to my mother.

Now my mother, already started,
having started a family.

I have, three brothers and one
sister, and so I was there.

Things really got rough.

Really, really got rough.

because now I was a little, I was a
little bit older and, and I could, we

had confrontations between him and me.

And, so one time we really
went at it in such a way, I

had to be about 14 years old.

And we really had it, you know,
I mean, it was really rough.

So my mother decided that, this was not
gonna work, this and that and the other.

So I, I was sent to Puerto Rico again.

So I spent from the age of six years
old to about 14, just going back and

forth from one, one place to another.

Then I came, I went to
back to Puerto Rico.

I was there for a while.

And, an uncle of mine who I admire.

He was like, my God, this good
looking guy, nice dressed nice,

the nice car, he had it all.

And I always looked up to him.

And, so it so happened that
when I was in Puerto Rico, he

came to visit my grandmother.

and, I actually begged him, please take
me, which you want, take me with you,

I don't want to be here in Puerto Rico.

So he said, if you can convince
your father, I'll take you.

I, yeah, begged my father to please let
me go, because I, at least I had a better

opportunity here in the States then I,
in Puerto Rico, over there at that time

where you have a sugar cane, you either
gonna end up cutting sugar cane or

fishing, because that was the industry,
that was what's going on over there.

So my father, he, because of his love for
me, he allowed me to come with my uncle.

And, so I live with my uncle in,
in Camden, New Jersey, little town.

And I was there with him for,
a while and there was, a little

problem between him and his wife.

And we end up both in the streets.

So, uh, uh, uh, in other words, I between
the age of, I would say six years old.

I was 15, 16.

I lived here.

I lived here, there and everywhere.

I live with grandmothers and my mother's
side, my grandparents on my father's side,

I live with uncles, cousins, you name it.

But then eventually around
I was 15, 6, 15 and a half.

I would say my uncle, rented me a room
in this house where they rented rooms.

it was something they did
back in the days, and I.

I was happy there.

I had this little room, it wasn't much,
but that, I felt comfortable there.

It was the first time I had
my own bed and all that.

So I would, live in my room.

I would get up in the morning.

I would go to school.

Nobody was making me get up.

I would go, in, go to
school, come from school.

I had gotten working papers or
permits to work, the school where

I was going to, they hired me to
do janitorial work after school.

So here, the stuff I used to write
on the walls, now I have to be clean.

So I didn't like that.

And I would tell my buddies, say,
don't be writing on the walls, man.

don't be writing that
stuff about you and Linda.

You love Linda.

Linda loves you because
I gotta clean that up.

So that's when they did it the most,
because they knew I had to clean it.

So it was, uh, it was challenging.

So, uh, I did that, for a long time.

I worked, came from school.

I would change my clothes and I would
go to work and I come outta work.

I would take my shower and I
would sit down and do my homework.

sometimes, I'd be up to midnight doing
my homework and to take to school.

so I, my, my goal was to join
the Air Force and just disappear.

I, I felt abandoned.

By my mother.

I felt, I was carrying a lot
of, a lot of grief, hatred,

anger, bitterness, you name it.

because of how my, because the time that
I lived with my stepfather, the treatment,

how he treated me, my mother felt that she
was more on his side than on my side, that

She chose him over me.

So there was a lot inside of me.

so I, a purpose to, I was gonna join
the Air Force and just disappear.

I wasn't gonna look back, but then,
you can make all kind of plans,

but doesn't mean they, they're
gonna turn out the way you want.

as I was going out, I was doing good.

I was keeping my nose out
of trouble, this and that.

But along the way, a friend,
uh, introduced me to, drugs.

Um.

You know, I used to drink a beer,
as a young kid, kids do crazy stuff.

Teenagers, drink a beer or
smoke a cigarette, whatever.

But I had a friend who, was on
my back, come on, man, let's do

this, man, just one time, And,
you're gonna see, how good it is.

and, but he just kept on me, on my back.

And one day I got so fed up, I figured
that, to get him off my back, I'm

gonna go ahead and do this, one time.

And by then he would leave me alone.

And I was introduced to hard drugs.

and that one time, cost
me 20 years of my life.

Because for 20 years of my life,
I trying to find that first high.

So I was in a constant
search and didn't realize it.

And, as every day went by and I got deep.

And more deep and deep into this,
drug thing without realizing it.

and then after a while, you
start lying to yourself.

You start saying that, I can quit.

I can stop any time I want.

It's like cigarettes.

you smoke for so many years, and then,
people tell you, why don't you stop?

And you tell the people, oh,
I, I can stop whenever I want.

why don't you do it right then and
there and throw the secrets away?

So I found myself, for 20
years dealing with this.

I was self denial.

in and out relationships, uh,
hurt more, hurt more pain.

so a lot of things happened.

Those 20 years, my life could have been
taken away because I have found myself

in situations where I had guns pointed
at my face and I was so tired of living

that I, the guy that was holding the
gun, I said, pull the trigger, man.

And for some reason he didn't
have the gut, so it wasn't God's

will that, that he would do that.

And I was just, I didn't know my rope.

And I was about 37 years old now
because I got, I got, involved

with drugs when I was about six.

in 1967 is when I first got
involved with the drug habit.

That's when you know hippies and let's
make love and not war and all that

kind of stuff, or, I was proud of that.

anyway, trying to make a long story short,
in, in, 87, I was already with my wife now

who's we have been together, for 45 years.

Praise God for that.

God has used her in a might powerful way.

When we got together.

She didn't know who I was.

You know, you always put your best
foot forward, but then, when she

realized who I was and what was
controlling my life, I guess she

already had fallen in love with me.

And it's, it was hard for her to,
walk away from the relationship.

And I had my first son.

and that made it even harder.

even though people told her to leave me.

'cause I wasn't gonna amount to
nothing, you know, I was going,

But, she saw something in me
that I didn't see, in myself.

But being in New Jersey, being,
living the kind of life I was living,

my life was hanging by a threat.

and, anyway, I used her to bring
me to Florida where I, came.

It was like she's saying, she was
saying to me, this is your last chance.

we have a family and you need
to change and you can keep

going like the way you're going.

So we came to a place called
Fort Myers and there, I started

working as an electrician.

I got hired as an electricians helper.

'cause I didn't even know
how to change the light bulb.

But it was a, this was guy
already working, in my life.

I knew there was something inside of me,
but I didn't know there was a hunger.

There was a thirst, there was
a emptiness, there was a void.

And I trying to feel
that void with liquor.

I trying to feel that void with drugs.

I trying to feel that void
with the things of the world.

I thought that partying and doing all
this stuff that you do, that was it.

But I realized, the time came
when I realized that, really that

was nothing, Anyway, when I was
in Fort Myers, I started working

with, with an electrical company.

they hired me as the electricians
helper, so they're willing

to train me and all that.

And got already had a plant where
he put me to work with a man.

his name is Russ White.

And I praise God for his life, his family,
because this guy, he, he was like my,

my, my leader, my lead man, a foreman.

And he invited me to church one, one day.

I, after us working together, and
when he told me to, you know, when

he asked me, I told him where to go.

I said, I don't wanna hear about, church.

I don't want hear about none of
that stuff, so don't you know, I

will work with you side by side from
seven o'clock in the morning until.

Because there were times that we
worked to 11 o'clock at night from

seven o'clock, we worked 12, 13 hours.

I said, I work with you, no problem.

I do whatever you tell me to do, but
do not talk to me about religion.

And he said, oh, I'm sorry.

I apologize.

I said, no, it's okay.

But the guys working around me,
they came up to me and said,

Carlos, don't talk to him like that.

he's not like us.

He's the real deal.

So you need to show him some respect.

I said, really?

So that challenged me that,
that was like a homework for me.

I'm gonna bust this guy,
I'm gonna show this.

So you know, I'm gonna show this
guy that he's not working, you know?

But to my amazement, we were
doing a high riser, in, by

the beach in Naples, Florida.

And we be working.

And when you hear a lot of whistling,
that means there was a woman on the beach.

So all the guys would run to
the balcony, Hey baby, hey.

And this, some of those girls were crazy.

They did some crazy junk, so we were
there whistling, hey, and instead

of, of course I'm gonna be honest,
I would go look real quick, because

I like to see what's going on.

Then I would run back into the unit,
and when I say unit, I'm talking

about apartments that we were
doing a million dollar apartments.

I would run to look for him to
see where was, what was he doing?

And to my amazement, he
would just stay working.

He didn't run that day, you know, the
loss of the eye, you know, that is,

and now that blew my mind, like man.

because this man, I got to know him.

He had a wife just like I did.

He had two sons, just like I did.

He had two daughters just like I did.

So I knew that he was a straight shooter.

I said, wow.

Hmm.

So that, that caught my attention.

And okay, the guy, I saw that when
we were having conversations, that it

were not so pretty, he would walk away.

He didn't take part in the conversations
or the jokes that we were, sharing.

And I, you know, I'm paying attention.

I'm looking, I say, wow.

And then every time we finish one of
those units, our boss would give us a

big old party, so there was the whiskey,
the beer, the food and all that.

That was another thing.

I would grab my plate and I would start
looking for him, see where he's at.

So he would be somewhere by himself with
his little plate, with drumstick, with

some mashed potatoes called slaw and a
coat versus us, we had all kind of stuff.

So that caught my attention.

And then I think the thing that really,
really worked in me was that one night we

worked till about 10 o'clock at night and
we came outta there out of the job site.

And somebody had done something
that, that really bothered me.

They had taken a trash can full
of trash and emptied on his seat.

And when we came outta there,
I was tired, I was hungry.

I wanted to go home.

And we opened the van and all this
trash and we knew who'd done it.

and you gotta understand, Russ is
about, he looks like a linebacker.

big guy.

200 and something about six something.

And I looked at him and I said, Russ,
what are you gonna do about this?

And well, he said, uh,
don't worry about it.

God's gonna take care of it.

I looked at him, I said, God, I'm not
God, but I'm gonna take care of it.

So I was ready to go in there
and have it out with this guy.

And the way he reacted to that, it just
blew my mind, that I said, man, this

guy has such peace, such self-control.

I want some of that.

And of course, he used to talk to me,
but he really didn't try to push any kind

of religion or anything like that on me.

he didn't try to drown me with,
oh God, if you don't accept

God, you're gonna go to hell.

And he never did that.

So that took me to a place where
one day we were working and out

of the blues, I said, Hey Russ.

I wanna talk to you.

And he asked, and he said, what?

I said, first of all, I
wanna apologize to you.

And he said, for what?

So I said, the first time you invited me
to church, you, I answered you in a very

bad way, so I wanna apologize for that.

So he said, don't worry about that, Then
I said, does that invitation still stands?

And he said, of course.

as a matter of fact, we having
a revival in our church.

And I said, first of all, I
didn't know what a revival was.

That's number one.

Number two, I said, yeah,
I'll go, come and pick me up.

Because I just wanted
to get outta the house.

I was bored, I was new in, in Fort Myers.

I didn't know my way around.

I was starting from scratch.

we have been through a lot.

When I came from Jersey over
here, I had three kids and a

hundred dollars in my pocket.

That's how we started.

And, he said, sure, I'll pick you up.

So we, he came by the house, that
evening and picked me up, took me

to the church, and there, the first
thing that I think impacted in my life

was the person that was at the door.

And, you know, everything in the ministry,
it is a ministry, even the person that's

at the door, because that person, first
of all, God put Russ in my life to, to

show me that there are people that you
know, that you can look at them and see

the presence, and you can see the power
of God here on this earth because people

are looking for signs they wanna see,
you know, they want to feel, be able to

touch or see with their eyes, you know,
God's presence or whatever, because

they're looking for signs in miracles.

I guess that's the word I can use.

So first God puts Russ in my, in
my life so I can go to church.

And the reason why I didn't, I
had not gone to church before.

Well, I had visited churches,
but, you know, just, just for

the heck of it, let's be honest.

I would go to church, like for Mother's
Day, I would go, even though my mom and

me were not, you know, uh, anyway, I
would go see her Mother's day and then

of course I would go to church with her
'cause she has always been in church,

or for funerals, things like that.

But, and the services that I went
to, I never paid no attention

and I never heard anything.

And the reason for that is because the
people that had invited me to church

before Russ was people that were doing
the same things that I was doing.

So how can you invite me to church?

And you are sitting at the bar
with me with a beer in your hands

and a drink in front of you.

How can you tell me, Hey, why don't
you come to church with me tomorrow?

And when you leave the bar,
instead of going home to your wife,

you're going to go see your honey.

You know that you have, So these are the
people that used to invite me to church.

So of course I like,
I don't need your guy.

I don't need your God.

Why would I wanna, go to church?

But this man is different.

This man has shown me that man, there's
something real and truth, there's

some truth about the things of God.

so that's the first thing that
got put in my in, in front of me.

The second thing was when I went
to the church, the lady Ruth Ann,

never gonna forget that lady.

She welcomed me in such a
way that I felt that love.

It wasn't something,
this is what I gotta do.

Hey brother, how are you?

Good to see you.

Welcome to our church.

Now this lady grabbed me and
she hugged me and she said,

man, it's so good to see you.

Never seen me in my life.

And I felt that love.

I felt that connection.

And in my mind I said, does
this woman know who she hugging?

This woman crazy.

She don't know me, but
that, that touch him.

and of course, I went in and I sat
all the, in the back, like always,

And, I just stood looking around,
scoping the place, scoping the people

that were coming into that church.

And, the service started and
they had a pastor that, that was

visiting and this pastor preached
about, how much God, cares for us.

And then for the first time, I can say
I was, 37 years old and I heard the

gospel for the first time in my life.

He called my attention, woke up
something in me and I was like, wow.

And I never heard this before
and I never heard this before.

So I went to work the next day
and all day long I was asking Russ

questions about this and about that.

And he had the answers
now his own answers.

But because he had read the
Bible, he had studied the Bible.

So he gave me not his own opinion,
but what was in the Bible, even

though I didn't understand, when you
said to me, when he said to me about

Matthew or John or Luke or Mark or
whatever, I'm like, who are those guys?

I didn't know nothing.

So anyway, this, all day long I
was asking him questions and then I

asked him, is this thing going on?

tonight again?

He said, yeah, it's
gonna be a three nighter.

I said, oh man, come and pick me up.

So I went the second night.

The second night I was not a happy camper.

Because the second night, this man,
I mean, he was like, the only thing

missing in his message was my name.

My name.

I was the only thing missing.

Mm-hmm.

That man shared.

He talked like he knew my life inside out.

He talked about my anger, my bitterness,
my pain, my suffering, my loneliness.

I was like, what the heck?

You know?

And I just, I just came outta there.

I was so confused.

I was Conviction regrets.

I don't know.

it was a crazy night for me that night.

It was so crazy that I went home.

When I got home.

I hate to admit it, I grabbed my wife
by, by, by her shoulders, and I shook

her and I said, why in the world who told
you to call that church and tell 'em our

personal business, our personal life?

And my wife, she's strong spirit.

She looked at me and said, first of,
I don't believe you was in church.

That's number one.

Secondly, I don't know, I don't have no
idea what you're talking about, so you

better get your answer for me before.

And, so I'm like, now I'm confused.

I'm really messed up.

So I go back to work the next
day and I'm really asking Russ

questions, but I'm rough this time.

Like, why did the pastor say that?

Why did this pastor say
that, why he said this?

And then the other.

And he said, well, Carlos, you gotta
understand, God speaks through people,

so God, whatever, whatever he says,
because that was God talking to you.

And I'm like, because a lot of the
things that he said, only I knew them.

This man had never seen me.

I don't know this man.

And we don't know each other, So I, I
was mad, I was angry, I was hurt, but

there was a lot of truth in what he said.

So I asked him again, and this thing
going on tonight now, And he said,

yeah, tonight's the last night.

So I said, come and pick me up, man.

I wanna go.

So this was in 87.

So he picked me up and I went, and
man, he preached about the love

of God for Gospel of the world,
that he gave his only grandson.

Man, that, that hit me so hard.

And the way he broke it down, you
know how God wants to heal you.

He wants to forgive.

First of all, God wants
to forgive your sins.

He wants to transform your life.

He wants to bring healing, mentally,
physically, spiritually, emotion.

You know, I mean, it was like
everything that I needed was

right there in the package.

And, I'm like, wow.

You know, so I, I wasn't
used to all this stuff.

I wasn't familiar with all of this stuff.

I used, I, every night.

those, he would, after he finished
his, message, he would make

the altar call, which I didn't
understand what that was all about.

And I used to see, he would say, those
who, need to come to the altar do so those

who need to go home, please leave quietly.

And those who want to help.

To pray over the ones that
come to the altar, please come.

And I would see the crowd, see
all kind of people go up there.

I used to, hear people crying
and all that, I'd be watching.

I'm like, So that last night that he did
that, I was in the back, and I'm wrestling

now with three nights of this man.

what he had shared with us.

And so I'm standing looking, everybody's
got their heads down, their eyes closed.

He made the call.

People, boom.

Went to the front.

He's up there on the altar
and I'm wrestling with myself.

It was like I had two people inside of me.

One person was telling me, go,

the other one was telling
me, that's not for you, man.

That's not for you.

You're strong.

You're not like those weak.

Look at those people crying.

They should be embarrassed.

And the other boys would tell me, what
was, how, when your father, when your

stepfather was abusing you, where was God?

Where was God when?

When your mother chose
your stepfather over you?

Where was God when you know your
father was drunk somewhere and you

were somewhere, he didn't know.

Had no earth idea where you were.

Where was God when you walk in
the streets of Canada, New Jersey

at three o'clock in the morning?

No place to, where was
God when you asked him?

'cause I remember one time that I was
walking, I don't know, two, three o'clock

in the morning, I was so devastated.

I look up to the heavens and I
say, God, why you hate me so much?

You hate me so much.

Why don't you just kill me, destroy me.

Get it over with.

But see, but we don't know the purposes of
God that plans that God has for our lives.

So, you know, all the stuff was coming,
you know, I mean, the list had no ending.

and I did say, God, where were you?

Where were you dad?

And the other voice inside
of me was like, just go.

Just go.

And then I see the pastor, he
came down from the altar and

he started praying for people.

And while I'm there, you
know, I'm looking, I got one

eye closed and one eye open.

And I'm watching through the crowd.

And I said, God, if it's true, if it's
true, if it's true what this man preach

about your love, about your healing,
about transformation, redemption, if

all that stuff that this man mentioned
is true, let this man make an alter

call and I will give you my life.

And I said that because I knew it
wasn't gonna happen, and I, and I,

in, in my own inside of me, I said,
well, I guess I have been a loser of my

life and I will continue to be a lose.

That's what the devil put in, in, in me.

Mm-hmm.

You're elusive buddy.

And you always gonna be elusive.

'cause that's like a curse.

Because I remember one of my, one
of my grandfathers say, you are

never gonna amount to nothing.

You're gonna be just like your father.

Your father said drunk, you're
gonna be worse than here.

So all those things, it is amazing how
your mind can work and it's act, it's not

actually your mind is, you know, the Bible
says that we worship against not flesh

and blood, but against principalities.

You know what I mean?

So here, all this stuff is coming at
one time, So I'm saying, I guess I've

been a loser of my life because of the
life that I had lived up to this moment.

So I imagine I'm gonna continue to
be a loser and, but I say, God, if

it's true, let this man make an altar
call and I will give you my life.

So to my amazement, I'm
looking, I'm watching.

This man is spraying over somebody.

He has his hands over this person's
head and he stops and he looks up like

he's listening to a voice or something.

And I'm looking, I'm
saying to myself, no way.

There's no way this could be happening.

And this man, hesitated for about, I
don't know, minute, a couple minutes.

Then he gets back up from his knees,
gets back in the altar, he gets behind

that pule and he hits real hard.

Bam.

Everybody say, went up
and he said, loud voice.

He said, the Holy Spirit had just
shown me that there's one more

person here that needs to come to
the front and you know who you are.

That's all he said, man, Jesse,
I'm gonna tell you something.

Normally, if I'm gonna go by you and
you on my way, I will say, excuse me.

Pardon me, man.

I walk away people, I mean,
I push people out of my way.

I didn't say, excuse me.

Pardon me.

I just.

I just came outta my seat, ran
to the front of the altar and he

was standing there and he looked
at me and he said, you the one?

I said, yes, sir.

He said, well, talk to Jesus.

That's what he told me.

Talk to Jesus.

And he went back about his
business, what he was doing.

I dropped to my knees, and I'm
gonna tell you, I seen my life.

I seen all my hurt, my pain, anger,
my bitterness, I mean everything.

And I don't think I ever had cried.

Like I cried that, that night,
that was November 22nd, 1987.

It was like this big load
sticking off my shoulders.

And when I finished asking God to
forgive me to then I said to God,

I said, God, I don't know if you
can use somebody like me, but I.

Here am I?

That's what I say to God, here am I.

And when I got out from there,
people came and hugged me and

they, oh, you have been born again.

I had no idea what that meant, you know?

No idea.

But anyway, after that, it was
a process from 87 to 89, I,

got involved in the church.

I was confused because I started
reading out, here one day.

I gave my life to Christ, the week before
I was the one in, in, in, at my job

that, hey, better be careful with that.

Crazy Puerto Rican.

I was the one drinking, I was
the one cussing, I was the

one that, don't mess with me.

'cause you're gonna get in the
world trouble, And, it was crazy.

Now I gotta go back and say I'm safe.

So my buddies, it was hard.

It was rough.

It was, it was a process.

It was a process because my buddies
there were making fun of me, oh,

so you're not gonna smoke no more.

You're not gonna drink no more.

I said, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I don't know.

and, so they used to make bits to
see how long this was gonna last.

I had a little pocket Bible, so I'm
trying to read, because, trying to learn.

So I would read Matthew and then
I go to Mark and I would get all

confused why I'm reading the same
thing that's in, in Matthew, mark.

Then I would read Luke and
like, what is going on here?

Why did they keep repeating this stuff?

And then I go to John and I
mean, I was messed up 'cause

I was on my own, you know?

And then eventually got put somebody in
my life that started guiding me, through

the Bible, helping me to understand.

But for two years, it was a process.

and.

The best way I can put it is you can
go to retreats because people do go to

retreats for spiritual retreats, but
it's not until you have an encounter,

a personal encounter with Jesus that
really would transform your life.

Because from 87 to 89, I, I did
what I could in my own strength

to please God, but I always fell.

You know what I mean?

I, I was still, during the week, I
was sneak and I'm not saying that

everything is a personal conviction.

If you are there and you smoking
or drinking or whatever, everything

is a personal conviction.

it's what God puts in your heart.

I used to smoke.

I used to drink, I used to do drugs.

I used to do just about
everything there is.

I.

And I separated myself from that because,
not because my pastor, not because of the

church and because of the Holy Spirit.

Mm-hmm.

He brought healing to me.

He, you know, he just gave
me, removed that, those

desires, let's put it that way.

I don't judge nobody.

I don't condemn nobody for whatever
they do, because that's a personal

thing between you and the Lord.

So, from 87 to 89.

Okay?

So during the week, I would get a week
and I went and bought a beer first.

All I knew I shouldn't do it
because I wanted to serve God.

I didn't wanna be a bench warmer.

I don't wanna, I didn't wanna be like,
I used to call people a hypocrite.

I wanted to be the real thing I.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

I used to judge people and
say, oh, people are hypocrites.

they go to church, but look,
they smoke and oh, they go to

church and they're drinking.

here I found myself in
their, in, in their place.

So I would go get outta work, four or
five o'clock in the afternoon drive.

It was a hour drive from
the job to my house.

So I would see a seven 11 or a Circle K,
and I'm like, I'm gonna go get a Gatorade.

Go in there.

They put the getaway next to the beer.

So I look, I stand there, I look at
the Gatorade, I look at the beer,

I look at the 16 ounce can of bull.

I look at the getaway.

Then I look around to see anybody
in there knew me, or I knew anybody.

So I would grab that 16 ounce can of
Budweiser, and I walk to the ca, and

I'd be like, if I was carrying 10 pounds
of heroin or cocaine, go to the cash

register and listen, put this in the
bag and, and pay for it and take it.

And I, I would go way outta my way in
the woods, and I would drink that beer.

And it felt so good because
it was hot, you know?

But as soon as I finished drinking that
beer man conviction would come over me.

And I start crying and crying and crying
and crying and asking God for forgiveness.

And God, why don't you destroy me?

Why don't you just get rid of me?

I'm worthless.

I'm useless.

it was a constant battle.

And, Then I buy some gum, and go home.

And I walk through the door and my
wife would see me chewing gum and she

said, you've been drinking again, huh?

And then I would go off on
why I can't chew gum now.

Who you think you're the Holy Spirit?

Because it was a conviction.

But let me see, let me show you
what I mean by what I just said.

I'm read something, if you don't mind.

Yeah, go ahead.

Real quick.

Because a lot of us, a lot of us,
and I'm talking about, you know,

Christians that, that have been
serving God for a long, long time,

they find themselves struggling.

and let's be honest, there's things
that still the enemy uses against

us sometimes it is not big things.

I thought that by being delivered
from the booze and the drugs and all

that was, that was gonna set me free.

But sometimes the little things.

You know that, that keep us in bondage.

And look what Paul said.

That's why I love Paul.

This is the, I'm gonna read this out
of the living Bible now, He says,

I don't understand myself at all.

This is Paul's talking.

I really want to do what is right.

That was me.

You know, I come outta work,
you know, but I cannot do what

I don't want to do, what I hate.

I know perfectly well that what I am
doing is wrong, and my bad conscious

proves that I agree with this law I
am breaking, but I cannot help myself

because I am no longer doing it.

It is sin inside me that
it is stronger than I am.

That makes me do these things.

I know I am rotten through and through.

So, so far as my all sinful nature
is concerned, no matter which way I

turn, I cannot make myself do right.

I want to, but I can't.

And I want to do good.

I don't, and when I try not
to do wrong, I do it anyway.

Now, if I am doing what I'm, I
don't wanna do it is playing.

Where the trouble is, sin
still has me in is evil grasp.

That was me for two years.

Mm-hmm.

Because, here I am on Sunday
in church, holy Spirit moving.

we just preaching God.

We just, I mean, oh, what a what
wonderful, you know, uh, environment.

You can feel the presence in such a way.

And when I had my hands up in the
air, you know, that enemy me will

whisper in my ear, Hey, remember
that beer you drank on the Tuesday?

And man, the fire will go right out of me.

Mm-hmm.

So a lot of, you know, so it
was a struggle for two years.

Though I was in church, I would
go to church every Sunday.

I would go to church every Wednesday.

I tithe, I served, I did
many things in church.

But yeah, there was a struggle in me.

But then in 89, one night,
one day, I was home.

And that's why I mean about a retreat and
having an encounter of Christ, I was home.

I need my own business
watching Wide World Sports.

And to be honest with you,
I had a beer next to me.

I had, and I, and so I'm
watching the World Sports.

I'm by myself.

My, my wife had gone out with the kids
and I heard a voice and the voice says

to me, you cannot serve two masters.

When I heard that, it blew my mind.

First of all, it took maybe 12
beers for me to feel anything.

'cause I was so used to drinking,
So I wasn't, drunk or I wasn't,

you know, to me one kind of beer
was like drinking a glass of water.

So when I heard that
voice, it paralyzed me.

'cause I knew this wasn't,
this wasn't natural.

I knew that I was, something was going on.

And when I heard that
voice, I felt a conviction.

I knew that was the Lord
speaking to me because of the

double life that I was living.

And I said to the Lord, I
said, Lord, what's wrong with

me being here in my house?

The privacy of my home?

I'm drinking a beer, I work
long hours, you know that I

work those panels and who knows?

One these day I'm gonna stick my
hands in one of those panels, and

that's going to be the end of me.

So what's wrong with me?

I'm, I'm here.

I'm not hurting nobody.

I'm not in a bar.

I'm not doing nothing.

I'm just trying to relax,
enjoy the day, this and that.

I was like, Perry Mason fighting the case.

You know what I mean?

and I did that out of fear because
I knew this was something spiritual.

this, this was nothing normal.

So after, out of fear, I'm
fighting my case, and I told

the Lord, all these things.

And then there was a silence
for a while, and in my mind I

said, I must have won this case.

Yeah.

That's why I said, man, I did
a good job defending my cause.

And the voice came back and said to
me, well, if you're not with me.

You're against me.

That's simple.

That's simple.

When he said that, I don't know.

I just dropped right there where I was.

I dropped to the floor.

I started crying, shaking, scared,
because I realized that I had been

committing spiritual adultery.

I had never seen it like
that before, you know?

Mm-hmm.

And it so happened that while I was
on the floor asking God to forgive me,

forgive me, Lord, forgive me, forgive me.

That the Holy Spirit reminded me that we
had a new pastor had came from Kentucky.

This a young man, and this man was, I
mean, the anointing of Kawa on this man's

lives, I mean, in such a powerful way.

His name is Pastor Scott Krogers.

And, He had started something in
the church called the Hour Power.

So every Saturday, those who wanted
to attend, they could go from like six

to seven or seven to eight at seven to
eight, and you just went and you pray.

You pray for the Sunday service,
you pray for your own needs, you

pray for the community, you pray
for whatever God put in your spirit.

So I wasn't part of it because like
I say, I was going through a process.

Um, so I wasn't part of that.

But at that moment in time, the
Holy Spirit brought that to my

heart and I said, Lord, if you
help me to get to church, if you

help me make it to the church, I
don't know why I had to get there.

But I said, if you help me,
we're gonna stay at the school.

So now my wife had gone out,
she had the car, I had all

beat up truck in the backyard.

I've been sitting there forever.

And the Holy Spirit put that in my mind.

Hey, you got that truck back there.

So I get out from the
floor, I run to the bedroom.

I'm looking for the keys everywhere
I finally find the keys, then I

don't know if the battery's good,
the truck is gonna start or not, has

no tags, no insurance has nothing.

But I'm desperate.

I'm like a man who's desperate,
who's, they know his rope.

So I ran into the truck.

Boom.

The truck, starts.

I, I run to the church.

I get to church, I walk inside the church.

And as I walk towards the, i the
altar, the pastor, pastor Scott,

his wife Kathy, his, father-in-law,
Gordon, his mother-in-law, Joanna,

Catherine, and Raymond, six people.

On the left side of the altar.

And when I walked in,
I could hear my name.

They were praying for me.

I walked to the altar and I went to the
right side of the altar away from there.

And I got on my knees and
I said, God, this is it.

You either take all of
me or let me go, man.

I broke down in such a way and
in such something supernatural

happened right there.

I had a special time with the Lord.

I'm not gonna tell you what
happened, but something,

I mean, it was something very special when
I got up from there, I felt so different.

I felt

it.

It's hard to explain.

my pastor at that time, pastor
Scott Crowler was my pastor and

all that, and they all came and I.

Asked me, you alright, Carlos?

I said, I'm fine.

I'm great.

So I went home and, when I got
home, my wife was telling me,

she asked me, where were you?

And I said, I was at church.

She said, really?

I said, yeah.

And I says, you know what, hun, from
this day on, I'm never gonna drink again.

I'm never gonna smoke again.

I gonna do none.

This things again.

And she looked at me like, oh.

She said, you are right.

My word had no power.

My word, because I have
made so many promises.

We have been together by now.

We have been together for seven
years and for seven years I've been

breaking promises, one after the other.

So now I have, the time has
come, I have to prove to her

that God has transformed my life.

So, uh, I, uh, the beer that I had,
I took that beer and I emptied out

the sink, pour me a glass of milk
that replaced the beer, cigarettes.

I had a brand new pack of cigarettes.

I had, I still had.

Doubts are hidden.

Be I, hi.

I went and hired a cigarette behind
the washing machine, and I went to work

and I'm still struggling with, with
the job, with the guys and all that.

a few days went by and I realized that,
wow, I haven't picked up a cigarette.

what's going on?

So one day I got home early.

My, my wife wasn't, say I wasn't home,
so I, went back there, got moved the

washing machine, got the pack out,
went all the way to, in the backyard.

I had a lot of orange trees.

I went all in the back, way back.

And I had my lighter and I had my
cigarette, and I took one cigarette

and I lit it and I took that big puff.

Oh, when, as soon as I inhaled, man,
I started throwing up and throwing up.

I thought I was gonna throw out my socks.

That's how bad.

And right there, I started praising
God because he had healed me.

Mm.

He had healed me, you know, and
I had been smoking for 20 years.

Mm.

So this is what I'm saying.

I don't condemn nobody or judge nobody
or criticize anybody for anything

because it's guy who does the work.

So it's been a process.

after that, God putting my
heart after living 10 years in

fort marriage to come here to,
Jacksonville and I had no idea why.

because at that time we finally,
in, 97, we were, we reached that

place where we were comfortable.

We had the house that we wanted.

We worked very hard.

My wife and I worked very hard to
accomplish what we had accomplished.

I had brought my mother from New Jersey
to live with us, my brothers who were

living with us, I had a good job.

My wife had a good job.

we seemed to have everything,
but it seemed like.

One day I was sitting on my porch and
I looked around at all the things that

God had given me and I contemplated.

And I said, and you can ask
my son, because he heard me.

I was thinking out loud and
I said, God, you know what?

all this that you had given me, I'm
willing to give it up for more of you.

And Carlos Alito was walking.

He was kicking.

He didn't walk at that time.

He just kicked the soccer
ball over the house.

Drive me crazy with that.

And, he said, what you say, dad?

because he thought I was talking
to him and I said, I know, son.

I was just talking to God.

I told God that I give up all this
for more of him, and to my amazement,

a place that I thought I would never
leave, I end up leaving, got put in

my hearts to move, to Jacksonville.

Didn't know why, but, sometimes
being obedient is hard.

It's not easy.

Because we look at things in the
natural, not in the spiritual, and

we don't know what the future holds.

And sometimes that can bring fear,
leaving you being comfortable

and then to leave, like we did.

when we came to Jacksonville,
we didn't know nobody.

I had no job.

it was hard.

But through prayer and fasting, we, came
and visited a friend in Jacksonville.

here.

I went to church, to the Potter's
House, which I've been now a

member for the past 27 years.

And God spoke to me.

There I was.

when, we came here, it so happened
that I had just broken my right hand.

So I was in a cache.

I was outta work.

I was in, disability.

So we came to visit a friend
that we had, in Fort Myers.

And that friend took us
to the palace's house.

And in that service, God spoke to me and
he, he said, ask me whatever you want.

And I will give it to you right now.

And, my hands were hop in the air.

I was crying.

The spirit was moving.

I mean, there was such a, an anointing
in that sermon that was something

I had never experienced before.

And I said, well, God, I know
if I ask you for healing, I know

you will heal my hand right now.

Right now I know it.

'cause I had that kind of faith.

if I ask you for money, I know
you would give it to me right now.

Somebody will walk up
to me and gimme a check.

I know you would do that.

You know, I got what
I want is more of you.

So I repeated the same thing
that I re I said in, in Fort

Myers, I said it in Jacksonville.

And he said, open your eyes.

And I opened my eyes and
he said, look at the altar.

And I looked at the altar and my
pastor now, he was standing there,

he said, that's gonna be your pastor.

That's gonna be your mentor.

That's who you're gonna
submit yourself to.

And I just looked and I.

It's impossible.

'cause I live in Fort Myers,
seven hours from here.

So, alright.

Everything ended, we drove from
Jacksonville to Fort Myers and

not one word was said in that car.

My wife was like, we were
like in different dimensions.

The kids were quiet.

Something you never see, Carlos and
everybody was like, what happened?

Or, he had been, it was like we had
been in the, in, in the presence

of God in such a way that his glory
just took her, just took over.

Yeah.

So from that moment on, we used to come
every weekend, every other weekend.

I'm sorry, every other weekend.

We used to come from Fort Myers
to Jacksonville to go to church.

how long did that take?

Six and a half hours.

Oh man.

And some people don't go to
church and they live around

the corner because it's cloudy.

It's cloudy.

Oh.

I don't feel like going this.

We used to drive six and a half hours.

We come on a Friday, I get
outta work, said I would get

outta work and we rush home.

We already had the bags
ready and all that.

And we, you know, little cooler with
the little stuff for the kids because,

and we hit that road and drive and
we'd get out, we would stay, get off

on hundred third Street and stay at one
of those hotels or motels, whatever.

So we'd be here Saturday, we
would see our friend, and then

Sunday we would go to church.

And then after church we would
have lunch and head back.

And then the, the fire, the
anointing of the Holy Spirit.

I will share with my church over there
on that Sunday, 'cause I would call one

Sunday here and one Sunday over there.

And, so then the, the call, I
felt the call that I had to come

over here after God spoke to me.

So now I needed the courage to
do it because we had it all.

We were comfortable.

And I started praying and fasting,
praying and fasting and asking, God,

please, that this is not something that
is, you know, uh, controlled by emotions.

You know what I mean?

Because you can get confused.

You know what I mean?

Feelings and emotions can betray you.

And one night the Holy Spirit woke me
up about two o'clock in the morning

and said, go grab your Bible, which
he was by my nightstand next to me.

Grab your Bible, go to the dining
room and I'm gonna show you.

And I got up.

got my Bible, went to the dining room,
sat down and said, open your Bible.

Genesis chapter 12, if you know the
stories where God spoke to Abraham

and told him to live, actually live
your family, live your comfortable

life and all these crazy gods that
you're following and follow me.

And I will bless.

I will bless those who bless you
and curse those who curse you.

and you'll see will be like
the stars in the heaven and

the sand in the, and the shore.

And I read that, and I
read that, and I read that.

And there I got my confirmation, I got
the strength, the courage that I needed.

The next morning when I said I got up
that I went to talk to her, she said to

me, the Holy Spirit already spoke to me.

Let's go.

Mm-hmm.

And so we, from that moment on, we
started, I put, I, I told my job I

was leaving and they're like, wait
a minute, Carlos, where you going?

What's going on?

This?

And that said, I gotta leave.

Said Why?

I don't know.

I just gotta go.

What is it about money?

look, don't tell nobody.

Okay?

We ain't giving no worries about it.

We're gonna make an except, but
you promise me you we gonna give.

I said it's not about money.

It's not about money.

I wish you would've said
that before, but be a race.

But not now.

I ain't, and say that the
same way they offer her money.

My pastor, my Sunday school
teacher, they all came to my house

and say, why are you doing this?

And my answer was, I don't know.

That was my answer said that used
to tell me, you don't sound too

educated when you tell people that,
I said, what you want me to do?

Lie, I don't know.

We are just doing this.

Gotta do it.

There's no turning back.

So we saw what we could or we gave
away whatever, and we saw whatever.

And then whatever we had left over, we
put in the U-Haul truck and drove now

looking back and we drove to uh, hundred
third Street, we got the apartment through

the internet, never seen it before.

Door backed that up to the door.

Opened that door, stood and looked.

Now we left a house.

I have four bedrooms, two car
garage, huge backyard, huge

front yard, beautiful neighbors.

It was about seven, eight
of us in that neighborhood.

We looked out for each other.

If I was gonna go on vacation, I would
tell my, my, my neighbor, Hey, I'm going.

So don't worry about it, Carlos.

And if anybody stop in
front of my house, boom.

He'd be over there.

He'd be, in front of, asking, who are you?

What you doing here?

What you looking for?

And the same.

His name was Ike.

And the same way me, somebody was
stop by his house when he was away.

I get out, go out there, can I help you?

You know, that's the kind of
neighborhood that I was living in.

So we left all that.

and I opened the door to the apartment
here in hundred third Street.

My wife looked at it.

I looked at Joy, which is
my youngest boy said, mommy.

She said, what son?

Are we poor?

I started, are we poor now
mommy and man say that.

She like, ah.

She said, don't open
the door to that truck.

Don't unload.

Not one thing.

We are going back home.

We are going back home right now.

And she took on running.

I said, what's wrong with this woman?

You know?

And I went inside and I looked and I
got on my face and I started praying.

I said, God, I know, you know, you
don't make mistakes if you call us here.

You know what?

Anyways, got a job.

We didn't know our way around, how
to go, find my way around, got a job

making half of what I used to make.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and um, it was rough the first year.

It was so rough and all I kept saying.

Encouraging myself was God
does not make mistakes.

I know I heard God, I heard his voice,
and I know this is what he wants.

you know, even though it don't make sense
to me, 'cause he did leaving all that,

that I had to come to this to, you know,
and, but while, but, while I was working

there, my job, gave me a li liberty, I
guess freedom where the church I was going

to, I, bumped into my pastor one day.

He didn't know me.

I didn't know him.

I used to go to the service, but
you're talking about a crowd of 5,000

people, and one day we bumped in
the hallway and we started talking.

He asked me who I was.

I told him who I was and he
asked me what was I doing here?

And I shared my testimony with him.

I.

And he said, what's the purpose?

And I said, I'll be honest with you.

I wanted to go to school, but I can,
because not only do I have my four

kids, but I had adopt two grandkids
because in, when I was out there crazy,

I had a relationship with somebody.

So I had a daughter, and my daughter
got, was got a little bit crazy and

the state took the kids from her.

So the judge gave me custody of them.

So now I have my four
plus my two grandkids.

So I had six.

So I told my pastor, I said, yeah, I
like to, I would love to go to school

even though I, put it advancing age.

I was like 50 something years old.

But I came because I got this
family, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, So I explained to him,
he said, okay, no problem.

He left.

I left it, we left it at that.

So I went back to work this and
that, because what I would do is.

I would get outta work when I got,
when I got outta work early, I would

go by the church and see, how could
I help in any kind of way, you know?

And it so happened that at that time they
were doing an addition to the church.

So whenever I got out, got outta
work at three 30, I would go straight

to the church and help, electrical
work, whatever they needed to do.

So I was doing that for them.

So one day I got a letter from Logos
Christian College saying to, you know,

with an appointment date and time.

And I'm like, what's this all about?

You know?

So I said, maybe they made
a mistake or whatever.

So I called, they say, no, come on in.

Alright.

So I went and they sat me down and
they say, okay, this is, are the

classes that we offer, this and that?

And I say, what's the cost?

He said, no, somebody
already took care of that.

So you have to pay for the books.

That's all.

So here is where everything comes
in is where, I was going to school.

They asked me what I wanted to take.

So my point was I wanted to
know what the Bible said.

Okay.

I praise God that I came from the
streets straight to Jesus arms.

Okay?

I didn't come from the
streets to religion.

It's a big difference because there's
such thing as the law or the first truth.

What you first learn is hard
to You see what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm.

So I knew a little bit about God that
I learned from my grandparents because

both of my grandmothers were, I guess I
can say Christians, they went to church.

But you gotta understand who
taught them what they knew.

See what mean.

So my grandfather also.

so I had learned from them and
then I had watched people and how

people would tell me one thing and
somebody else would tell me something

different about the same thing.

So when I went to school, I, I said to
the guidance counselor, I said, I wanna

learn, what the bible's all about, what
the teachings and that, you know, just

to be just, concentrated on one subject.

So he said, you need to
take general ministry.

That means that you're gonna
study the life of David.

You gonna study, just different subjects,
and then, after you do all that, then

you decide what you wanna focus on.

I said, that sounds good to me.

so one of the, so for four years.

I got my associates and I
got my bachelor's degree.

And those four years always, they offer
how to be a pastor, how to, govern

a church, how to build a church, how
to, you know, that kind of stuff.

Finances and all that.

But to me, I never took none of those
classes for the simple reason that

I just wanted to learn the Bible.

Hmm.

I wanted to learn what God was
saying through his prophets,

what Jesus was saying when he,
put before us his teachings.

And so people used to ask me,
why are you going to college?

I said, 'cause I wanna learn.

Learn what the Bible for what for myself.

And never enough once in my life that
I wanted, that had any other purpose I.

So, you know, I did my first two
years when we started, man, it

was, I mean, such a big group.

And by the second year when I got my
associates, half of that group was going.

And then, four years later, when it was
graduation time, only two of us graduated.

Wow.

Two of us.

They felt so good getting out there
and this other person and me, we looked

at each other and we said, we made it.

We made it.

And when they gave us that diploma,
I was like, wow, you know what?

Accomplishment.

And still, I still nothing.

I was glad I learned, I felt good
about the experiences that I had, the

lessons that I had learned, the clarity
that I have now in my soul concerning

the word of God, which way to go.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect,
that I know everything, but I

know in enough to have a great
and personal and relationship.

God, I know that when I pray you hears me.

I have the faith to believe I have
the type of faith that, to get out.

I get out of the boat and walk on
water and know to keep my eyes on Jesus

and not turn my eyes away from me.

'cause that's how I got hit by faith.

well, let me interrupt for a second.

Do you, so you did this four years
of Bible school, of college while

you were working full time and
had six kids and a wife at home.

Yes, I did.

I, I, and that's why, what I mean
about the job I, the beginning,

I wasn't crazy about it.

I, in front of the guy that hired me,
when he offered me, how much he's gonna

pay me, I looked at him and then I
looked to the side and I'm like, holy

Spirit, I'm not who the, who this guy
think I am, And the guy's looking at me

like, why is he looking at this ceiling?

Why is he like mumbling?

And the Holy Spirit said,
take the job, take the job.

So I looked at the guy and I said,
okay, I'm gonna take the job.

He said, you really, he
was surprised, really?

You wanna take the job?

I had my own tools, I had the
experience, I had everything.

And he said, let me give you the address
so you can go take the drug test.

I said, of course.

So I had to find my way.

I took the drug test and
I passed it immediately.

They sent me to work because God had
planned already that this job, because I

was gonna go to school, they would have
to gimme the freedom to go to school

because we had times where, it was
the end of the job and we had to work

to 12 midnight because we had to end.

'cause they had a contract and
they had to be, job had to be done.

But with me it was different.

Hey, I go to school, so this day I cannot,
you know, so they had to excuse me.

Mm-hmm.

You know, they went too crazy about it.

But this, this was part of it.

And eventually I worked my way
up the ranks, making the money.

So, yeah, I went to school.

A lot of times I would leave
school, go straight to the, to, I

would leave my job, go straight to
school, I'd be dirty, I'd be hungry.

I sat in that classroom.

I always had a little tape recorder
and I'd be staring at the teacher.

So he probably thought that, man,
this guy really concentrated, focused.

He didn't know I, I was
sleeping my eyes open.

So what I would do is when I got out outta
the classroom, on my way home, I turn

that tape recorder on and I'd be driving.

Now I can focus and concentrate because
I be driving, but I'll be listening to

the lesson, the homework and all that.

And I'm like, wow, I didn't know he talked
about that, And, so I'll go home and.

Take a shower, sit down
and do my homework.

Sometimes two, three o'clock in the
morning I'd be typing, reading because

I had do, all kind of book work and,
had to read a lesson or I had to read a

book and then write what I read and what
was about and all that kind of stuff.

Mm-hmm.

And, so I did that for four years.

and, but it was a challenge.

And then I graduated and here's
where the crazy part comes in.

So before I graduated the church, which
I be, I was part of, for 10 years,

in Fort Myers called me and, they
told me that, hey, I, we understand

that you are graduating soon.

I said, yes.

He said, well, how about,
coming down here, being staff.

We're gonna give you salary,
transportation, housing, insurance.

We're gonna give you, you
know, and you come down here.

And I said, wow.

So I said, let me pray
about it and let me fast.

And the pastor over there
said, oh, okay, no problem.

So I had not graduated yet.

So I, started fasting
and praying about it.

And of course, Sada got
all excited about it.

The kids got excited because really
we thought we were gonna go back.

Our harsh were over there.

We just thought this was temporary.

This, you know, this, that I came here
for whatever reason, we don't, we didn't

even know why, but we were gonna go back.

'cause that's where our hearts,
our family, our friends,

our church, everything.

And, after prayer and
fasting, the Lord said no.

I say, wow.

I said, all right, go.

So I went in and then I told
Seth, I said, Seth, guess what?

The Lord said?

No.

What?

we not gonna go back.

I said, no, sweetie, I'm sorry.

The kids were disappointed.

I was disappointed, to be honest with you.

So I left it at that.

I, kept working, kept going to school.

Then I had a little problem in
my job, and I wasn't working.

And I just graduated.

And I get, this is like six months
later, and I get another call from Fort

Myers, and the pastor says to me, uh,
listen, you have people that really love

you down here, really appreciate you,
and we had another meeting concerning

you, and this is what we're gonna do.

Now.

This, we are going to give, give
you everything that we offer before.

Plus now we want to put Sada.

in our books too, she's gonna be
working, she's gonna be getting a salary.

And so then in my mind
I said, oh, praise God.

That's why God said no the first time,
because he wants to bless her too.

Mm-hmm.

So, but I didn't say yes right away.

I said to the pastor, pastor, you know I
gotta pray and I gotta fast this and that.

So he was funny because he said,
well, here we are because I need you.

I here.

I said, okay, alright, whatever.

So anyway, I went, into prayer again
and fasting and after a while, the Lord

answered me and said, he said, listen,
I already told you no the first time,

and you come back the second time.

what I'm gonna do is I'm
gonna leave it in your hands.

You decide you can go.

Back to Fort Myers and you can
have all those goodies, you know,

salary, you can have the vacation,
uh, retreats, whatever, you know.

'cause the church, this church
was big and they had a lot, lot

of, lot of bed plan, sabbatical.

You can have all those things.

Belittle of me, or you can roll
up your sleeves and get your hands

dirty here and have much of me.

Hmm.

You decide.

That's it, man.

I, uh, it didn't take me much to decide
what to do because my prayer has always

been, Lord, I want more of you in my life.

So.

I went to say, well, I
went, I called the pastor.

I said, pastor, I wanted,
first of all, thank you.

And, and all those who were at the
meeting who think so highly of me

tell 'em that I really appreciate it.

I don't know who they are,
but tell 'em that I love 'em.

I appreciate it.

And I, I don't have no words
how to explain it, but I'm

so grateful to you guys.

But I can't, God spoke to my heart and
he has told me that I have to stay here.

I don't even know the reason why.

He said, wow, Carlos, I'm sorry to
hear that, thank you, this and that.

So I go tell them.

So anyway, my wife wasn't too happy.

My kids weren't too happy.

And, so no problem.

So we let that, go and, we stay here.

So then I, Working at the
pilot's house where I belong now.

And one day the pastor calls me to his
office and I'm wondering, what's going on?

Did I do something or whatever?

Because I, like I told you, I
was working around the building,

fixing and doing whatever.

So it was a interesting conversation
because he asked me, Carlos, how do

you see yourself in the ministry?

Because up to this moment I was
involved in, prison ministry.

I was a, five years visiting, a start
where they had the maximum security.

And that was like, oh, I love doing that.

You know, I was, not preaching,
just talking to, inmates, you know,

guys doing double live, doing one,
live, doing 65 years, 45 years.

But God's grace and favorable, was upon
my life in such a way, is anointing that

these people appreciated me going in there
and just listening to them, listening

to their, their needs and whatever.

And I was able to relay, because a lot
of them had gone through the same thing

that I lived, that had been rejected.

They had been abused, and that's
why they became who they became.

and I used to tell them, don't let
my suit jacket or my suit or my tie,

you know, don't let my, the way I'm
dressed fool you, because it's only

by the grace of God I wasn't on the
other side of those bars, you know?

And I, and I guess they saw my sincerity.

They saw that, I cry with them.

You're talking about these guys,
man, you know, murderers and I cry

with them, you know, so that ministry
was beautiful and I loved it.

I had a passion, great passion for it.

and I didn't realize how that
guy was using me in there.

I didn't realize that everything
that I had gone through up to, now,

God was using his glory and honor
to help somebody else that I can.

Look at that man's eyes
and say, I understand.

I feel your pain because I was abused,
or I was mistreated by my stepfather.

I was abandoned by my mother.

I was in this and that relationship.

And and so they, they understood
when I, when they talked, they knew.

And when I talked, they knew,
we could bond, you know?

Mm-hmm.

So that was great.

So anyway, getting back to talking
to my pastor, I'm in his office.

I'm standing, he's sitting, he's
looking at me and he say, how do

you see yourself in the ministry?

And I said, well, you know, um,
wherever somebody needs me for

that, I can share my testimony.

You know, or God can take a drunk and, or
a drug addict or whatever, and transform

his life, and I can help in some kind
of way with, that's how I see myself.

So he's standing there.

he's sitting there looking, but he
is looking through me and he says

to me, Carlos, you know what I see?

I see.

So I say, what?

He said, I see you
preaching to many nations.

And I, in my head, I, I'm thinking,
I said, I don't preaching.

Yeah.

You gotta understand that up to this
point now, I've been, saved, I've been

serving for about 15 years in the church.

I had never been to Spanish service.

Spanish churches was not my cup of tea.

So when he said that, I
said, well, who knows?

You know?

But then when he said, I see you
preaching to many nations in Spanish.

That's when I said, oh
man, this guy glory.

My confidence in him just
dropped at me like a hot potato.

I said, oh man, I was looking
up to the sky so much.

I thought he was, a prophet.

I thought this guy, because he
did a lot of things before that

moment that's why I was there.

Yeah.

I saw the glory of God.

I saw how God spoke to me through him, but
this time I said, nah, he blew this one.

he struck out.

He struck out big time.

So I just looked at him.

I didn't say nothing, and he
just said that, that's all.

And then we talked about whatever
I had to do, but that's, that stuck

with me and I was disappointed.

I came home and I said, man, I
told, I said, man, you know what

our pastor said, you know what?

And I told her, because
we didn't speak Spanish.

My Spanish, forget it.

It was street Spanish, and in
the house we don't speak Spanish.

Or we do mix it with Spanish
and English, but mostly English.

so, all right, so to my amazement,
about seven, eight months later, I

preached my first Spanish message.

I graduated from, college.

I got my bachelor's degree.

I came to, Amelia Island because there
were no Spanish churches here in Adeena.

because somebody asked if the
church that I belonged to, they

could send a Spanish pastor.

and the, and my pastor sent me
to look to, to scout the area.

And sure enough, there was not one.

So I went back and I told him
about it, and he had two pastors.

One was from Venezuela.

And he had one from New York that held s
services there, which I had never been to.

They asked me several times and
I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I never went to, so I told the,
my pastor, I said, listen, yeah,

there's no Spanish church, Jose.

Oh, the other, the other pastor.

And he said, no, I saying you.

I said, Nope, no can do.

I told him straight up.

I said, nah, I can't go.

And he said, why?

And I said, well, there's several reasons.

He said, well, I said, number
one, I don't speak Spanish.

He say, ain't you a Puerto Rican?

I say, I sure am a hundred percent, but
I don't, you know, my Spanish is not a

Spanish that I can use behind a pule.

And, and I've never been to Spanish
churches, so that's not my cup of tea.

So he said, well, you're going, uh,
I'm gonna give you a dictionary.

I have it up there somewhere,
Uhhuh, I'm gonna give you a

translator two, translator three.

I have it in my somewhere.

And you had the most important
tool, which is your Bible.

So you going?

I said, wow.

So anyway, seven month later, I
preached my first Spanish service.

I preached my first Spanish message at
the church to a small group of people.

And I had like an out experience
because I was standing behind myself.

Watching myself preach, which I didn't
know what I was saying in Spanish, and I'm

saying to myself, oh my God, look at me.

I am preaching in Spanish.

But, that was one of the
experience that blew my mind.

And then of course, I came over here to
the island and I started meeting people.

the Hope House was a place
that they allowed me to use.

People used to go to the Hope House to
get clothes, get food, and there I would

meet Spanish people and I would talk to
them and try to find out their needs.

And I started helping them, taking them
to doctors, paying for the doctor's visit,

paying for the medication, taking them
when they had to go to court, translating

for them when they had to go to the
hospitals, translating for them and

doing whatever, you know, to help 'em.

And they started calling me Pastor,
and I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

Back off.

Oh, hold.

You know, I not, no pastor.

you can call me Carlos, and
they're like, no, brother.

I said, yeah, call me brother,
but don't call me pastor.

So then I re, I go back to my pastor and
I go to see him and, I walk to his office.

He is cracking up.

He's laughing and laughing.

I'm like, what is wrong with him?

And without me opening my mouth,
he says, I know why you here.

I said, why am I here?

I said, you here because you are
under conviction because over

there they calling you pastor.

I mean, I froze.

I looked at him and I froze.

I said, what?

He said, you are under conviction
because they calling you pastor and

you're not, and you're not a pastor.

Am I right or wrong?

I couldn't even answer that, he said.

But anyway, I already in my calendar,
I got a, I have a, I have your name and

I have it set up where we gonna have a.

A Presbyterian meeting where all these
bishops and all these big people are

gonna come because they all the, men
and women who are requesting they wanna

be, licensed and ordained and all that.

And I got your name on
day, so you such a day.

I'm like, alright.

So, uh, went to the meeting.

It was something that,
it was out of this world.

You walked into that room and you know,
you was walking into a holy sanctified.

I mean, it was incredible.

Yeah.

I walked in there long table, all these
bishops from different denominations and

I mean, the anointing and the presence
of the Holy Spirit was so powerful

that she just, so I went and sat to
my place where I was supposed to sit.

So they started going around asking
each pastor, they would like.

20, 30 minutes asking personal
questions about their marriage,

their family, finances, you name
it, relationships in the church.

And I was like, oh my God.

So some of them were turned
down like, you don't belong, you

shouldn't even have a church.

Yeah.

they, I'm gonna tell you, they
were not holding nothing back.

Nothing back.

They were like, boom, to the point.

they had, I remember one that she
was a female and she was going all

over, evangelizing and this and that.

and so one of the, bishops asked her, you
be telling her that you do this revivals

and you go here and you go there and
now that now you wanna build a church

because it's a big following, in all this.

Where's your husband?

Oh no.

I go with elder.

So and so what's your relationship
between you and elder?

So and do you sleep in the same bed?

Do you stay in the same room?

Oh my God.

When I heard that, I said, oh Jesus,
this guy gonna cut me up in pieces.

You know what I mean?

Which I don't have nothing to hide, but
man, that's how it's intense was Yeah,

because this guy's going to ordain you.

They gonna license you, their
name's gonna be in that certificate.

So, uh, after they, they went around the
table and they came up to me, I'm shaking.

I'm like, God, holy Spirit help me.

My pastor gets up and he
said, this is Carlos Serrano.

And, he left everything that he
had in Fort Myers to come here.

He's been serving here.

He, he's part of the prison ministry.

and I mean, he just went on and on and on.

And, when he finished he
said, any questions for him?

Nobody, not one person
asked or said anything.

I said, praise almighty.

Praise that almighty.

So anyway, I, in front of about, I
would say 5,000 people, I was, ordained.

They, had this big ceremony and
couple of the other pastors, I

and my pastor took a chart of, uh,
oil and just poured over my head.

And all those other pastors, they put
their hands on, on, on me, and they pray.

It was something that I can't explain
it because when I, when, I don't know, I

can't explain the Gloria, God was there.

And when that ceremony was over,
then my pastor licensed me.

And before I knew it,
here I was in, Ferna.

Since I've been here since, 2002.

as a pastor of the Promised Land
Church, helping people, the people

that I minister to, they're the
ones that taught me Spanish.

I have people from Colombia,
Venezuela, Puerto Rico, Cuba, El

Salvador, Mexico, you name it.

So I have to kind of mix their
Spanish because some words may

be offensive to, I, to me may not
be offensive, but to them may be.

Mm-hmm.

And so it's, it's, it's, it's crazy.

But what I'm trying to say, Jesse,
is that, I know it sound like

cliche, but we have to learn to
let go and let God trust God.

You know?

Oh, I didn't know that at the beginning.

I didn't know that faith was,
was a gift for the Holy Spirit.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, like I said, a lot of people,
everybody told me that I was

crazy when I left everything
over there to come over here.

And what kept me going was
like, I kept saying to myself,

God, you don't make mistakes.

And I know that you spoke to me to
let go and let you handle everything.

And now, here it is.

yes, I have a church building.

Yes, I have a comfortable home.

Yes, I have transportation.

Yes, I don't like for nothing.

But that's not, it is a blessing,
but that's not the real blessing.

The real blessing in my life is the
relationship that I have with God.

Mm-hmm.

Because what I know and what
I have learned, I didn't

learn it in the classroom.

I learned it.

I experienced, yeah.

What I had going through, definitely
my family death of my father was one of

the biggest trials in my life where a
lot of people who served God had left.

Stop following Jesus because somebody
in their life, a father or mother or

a wife or a husband or a child, die.

And then you blame God for it.

You say, oh God, why you allow this?

I love you and I serve you
and I've been faithful to you.

But yeah, you allow this, to happen.

and we have to understand that, you
know, in my prayer and every day that I

pray, I always end my prayer with God or
we will be done, whatever that may be.

And I also ask God to gimme the grace and
the strength to face and deal and accept

whatever his will, for our lives is.

'cause we don't know, you've seen,
especially with my wife's health, seems

like something constantly happening.

Um, the last time she looked like she
was having a heart attack and when

she called me and say, pray for me, of
course, in our hearts we pray for healing.

That's the first thing that come, well,
you know, you know, I pray God heal my,

my wife Lord, this, that and the other.

But then I had to say,
God, let your will be done.

I didn't know what was gonna happen
between here and the hospital.

I didn't know whether she
was gonna make it or not.

I didn't know nothing, but I surrender her
in his hands and hope for the very best.

And God, he can see our hearts, he can see
our faith, and, and He's, you know, he's

gonna give us the greatest strength that
we need to endure when it comes our way.

Yeah.

So I'm so grateful.

I never, never wanted,
or never asked for, I.

to be a pastor.

I've been a pastor now for 23 years, but
I have been serving God for 38 years.

And when I gave my life to him
in 1987, I remember those words.

I say, God, I don't know if you can
use somebody like me, but here am I.

And it has been a process ever since, and
always be a process because there always

room to grow, to learn, And the closer you
get to God, you're gonna realize that he's

much bigger than what you think, because
he gives you illumination, he gives you

understanding, he allows you to see more
and more, and, you, and you get to see

how big he is and how little you are.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but the, I think the hardest
part that we deal with is

that trust, you know, bringing
something to the feet of Jesus, I.

And leaving it there.

Most of us, we go to an altar or
whatever and we say, God, here it is.

Here's this, whatever it may be.

But then when we get up and walk
away, we drag that thing again

with us, and we find ourselves
in the same spot, same situation.

And the devil is loving it.

Yeah.

he's loving it.

He's loving.

But when we take it to Christ and
leave it there, walk away, and

I know that was gonna come over.

What kind of person are you?

Don't you care?

Don't you worry?

Oh my God.

You know what I mean?

But wait a minute, hold it.

If I gave it, if I gave it to Jesus,
then why am I worrying about it?

We, oh, we have to do is wait.

And that's the problem that we don't wait.

We anxious, we want God to answer our
prayers or, our needs immediately there.

There's still things that I'm waiting
for that I've been praying for a

long time, but I know God is gonna
do it in his time, not my time.

Yeah.

Well, I was gonna, ask you if you
had any advice, but I think you just

gave it, when you turn something over
to God, leave it there, you know,

you want to add anything to that?

I, the reason why I said that, and if
we got a couple minutes, the reason

why I say that, 'cause I learned
that a long time ago when my oldest

daughter, she left to go to school,
never showed up the school call.

And from nine o'clock in the
morning to 10 o'clock at night.

I was going crazy.

We had the sheriff, we had helicopters,
we had everybody looking for her.

Somebody had said that they had seen
a white van early in the morning,

driving around the neighborhood.

So we were scared.

we were afraid that somebody maybe
had kidnapped her or whatever.

We didn't know.

But all day long I was praying,
Lord, I put this matter in your hand.

Protect my daughter Lord.

You know, I mean, you just kept praying
and praying and, but every time I would

say, surrender this to you, I would pick
up the phone and make another phone call.

I would go to somebody's house
and knock on another door.

And I mean, this went on from nine o'clock
in the morning to 10 o'clock at night.

At 10 o'clock at night.

I'm sitting on my back
porch and I'm praying again.

And the Holy Spirit said to me, you
know, all day long, all day long, you

be saying, I surrendered this to you.

I turned this over to you.

You ain't calling Trump.

But then you go and run around and
go knock on more door, this and that.

So where's the trust?

Where's their belief?

Where's their faith?

Are you gonna surrender away?

And I said, oh my God.

So right then, and then
I realized my mistake.

It wasn't God that got, God
doesn't have the power or

that he didn't hear my prayer.

It was me.

It wasn't God.

It was me.

So right there, I asked God to forgive me.

I said, Lord, sorry,
now it's in your hands.

Whatever.

Whatever.

I got out from my back porch.

I went inside the house.

I still had my work clothes on.

I started taking my work
boots off my wife went crazy.

First of all, whatcha doing?

I mean, she wasn't ballistic.

Whatcha are doing?

So I'm going to bed tired.

No, you can't go to bed.

You, how you gonna go to bed?

We don't know where she's at.

We don't know if she's alive.

I said I understand, but I had it.

I'm tired.

I got to take a one book.

When the phone rang, say hello.

She was my daughter, dad is me.

Really?

I said, are you okay?

Said I'm fine.

Where you at?

At Friend's house said, oh, what happened?

She left the house.

She left to go to school.

She got together with a couple
little friend of hers who the parents

didn't care, you know, what their
daughters were doing 'cause they

were too busy doing other things.

So she went from our house.

Instead of catching the bus to go to
school, she went to the mall, she went

to the movies, she went this, she went
there all day, had a great time, but she

forgot what you gonna, what you got dark?

The girls that she was hanging
with, she said, I gotta go home.

What you going to do?

So now she came to realize
whoa, I gotta go home too.

And she realized that when she got
home, I was gonna be waiting for her.

Oh.

She realized that
something was gonna happen.

So anyway, to make a, make a long story
short, she came home, she was fine.

Nothing bad happened to her.

She was just, hanging with a little
group bad influence because they had,

their parents didn't had, no, they were,
those girls were doing just crazy stuff

by the praise God that, my daughter,
after we had a little time together

after she came home, she separated
herself from that kind of bad influence.

But yeah, we gotta learn to trust
God and, and I think be, we need

to be honest with ourselves.

Look, search ourselves, examine ourselves,
and whatever weakness we have to look

at them and confess 'em to God and
help God and ask God to help us with

our weaknesses, whatever that may be.

Of course we, it is a two-way street.

We cannot ask God to, you know,
cleanse you or do this or do that

for you if you don't do something.

Also, you cannot sit back in your sofa,
comfortable with your arms crossed and

say, okay, God, do this in my life.

because here, I've been
saved for, what, 38 years?

39 years.

I'm still being tempted in many ways,
but through the years, every time a

temptation came because the devil, he's,
you know, he don't have no new tricks.

He just the same old junk.

So, um, through the years,
every weak point that I had

in my life, I focus on that.

I pray and I faster I pray, and I faster
until I conquer that through the power

of the Holy Spirit, not my own power.

Because you know we are gonna mess
up, you know, so through the powder

Holy Spirit, I was able to conquer
that and then move to the next one.

And which when you move to the
next one, then the demons that

come against you are bigger.

So then you focus on that one and to
the powder Holy Spirit, you defeat

that and then you move to the next one.

So that's why I say it's a process.

Nowadays, now the devil doesn't
take me with cigarettes,

he is be wasting his time.

I'm around people that smoke all day long.

Don't bother me smoke.

it's your health, your problem.

I'm around people that drink.

Don't bother bothers them.

Oh, pastor, no man.

Drink what you want.

It's show life.

don't hide from me.

I'm not God.

I don't have a heaven
or a hell to put you in.

You know?

That's a personal, that's a personal
thing between you and the Lord.

I don't judge nobody 'cause I was there.

Yeah.

And I know how it is.

I, when I go to Jersey to visit my
family and friends, talk about drugs.

S everywhere.

Cocaine, heroin don't bother me.

Say, Hey man, let me say hi.

How you doing?

I see you.

Bye.

Because I don't wanna be there.

Is there's a raid.

I don't wanna get caught
up in that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

But they respect me and
they, they respect me.

and some of them that, you know, old
friends, I like, man, let's go out,

eat, but you clean, you don't have
nothing in your pocket, this and that.

Let's go have a sandwich
somewhere away from here.

'cause I, you know, what I'm trying
to say with that is that those

things don't affect me no more.

because of the power of
the Holy Spirit in me.

And I don't judge nobody when I
see those guys, whether, whatever

you doing, I say you can change.

Just like I changed my life
20 years I was a slave.

and then let me, lemme take a step back.

It's not about the drugs or
the boost or the alcohol, I.

It's about other things.

Unforgiving spirit.

Oh, you don't know what he did to me?

I forgave my stepfather.

It's because of him at the
age of 15, I hit the streets.

It's because of him.

I didn't have a, that
relationship with my mother.

I don't have no good memories
of my mother and my father.

I didn't have a childhood.

I was from one hand to the other.

I never, I slept in kitchens and
I slept in living rooms in a co

I never had that love.

You know, I, I, I look, you
know, my wife, for instance, uh,

four sisters and eight brothers.

How tight, how close they are.

I remember when her mother
and father were alive, Wow.

And I look at that and I say,
wow, I wish I could have had that.

I, so a lot of people are carrying a
lot of stuff, a lot of being, being

abused, by family members and all
that, and they cannot get over that.

What I'm trying to say is
that God can heal all wounds.

Mentally, physically, spiritually,
emotionally, whatever.

if we only believe he healed me.

I used to be full of hatred towards
my stepfather, anger towards my

mother, bitterness, so many things
that were inside of me, but praise

God for his mercy, his goodness
that, uh, you know, he had healed me.

And now, all those things that
I went through, I didn't realize

why I thought that all that
stuff was because God hated me.

No.

All those things that I went through,
now, God is using it for His glory and

to bless suce because when somebody
walks into my office and pastor, you

don't know what I'm going through, I.

Somebody, did this to me or told
somebody talked about me or they

back stabbed me, or I mean whatever.

You know?

Uh, I deal with people who are
separation and, you know, kind

of, dilemmas and things like that.

I can look at that person and understand
exactly what they're going through.

Mm-hmm.

How many people do I cry with
them and they're surprised, like,

why the pastor crying with me?

Help me.

You know, because they start crying.

I feel their pain, and now I see why
God allow all those things in my life.

Because now through those
suffers that I went through, all

the people are being blessed.

Now I can talk to people and
know what I'm talking about.

It is not that I'm telling
somebody something that I read

in a life magazine or whatever,
or repeating somebody's story.

I'm telling you what I live, what I
experienced, what I've been through,

and how God helped me conquer those
things so that, you know, if he did

it for me, he do it for anybody.

Mm-hmm.

I don't give you a drunk
drug addict prostitute.

A thief matter who you are.

No matter who you are
or what you have done.

Because a lot of people think,
oh, you don't know my past.

That's right.

I don't know your past and I
don't need to know your past.

God's not concerned about your past.

God is concerned about your present
and your future, or he can do with you.

Mm-hmm.

He knows your past.

He was there when you
was committing that sin.

He was there, he saw it.

I think he's hidden.

So now he's concerned about, okay,
you come to me, give your life to me.

you gonna, I'm gonna shock you what
I'm gonna, what I can do in you

and through you, because that's,
I look at myself when I'm praying.

I say, Lord, he's incredible.

how you can.

Show so much mercy and do so much
in the life of a person like me,

the transformation in the inside, on
the other side, I still look old and

ugly and all that, but on the inside,

in the inside, it's a
totally different story.

So I just, you know, whoever
listening or whoever hears this,

I just pray that, it would be a
blessing that will help with them.

It will strengthen them.

Well, thank you Carlos.

That's beautiful.

Thank you so much for doing this.

I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of
people who are blessed by your story.

Would you mind praying for us,
praying for the listeners out there?

Jesse Duke: Let's pray.

I, heavenly Father, we thank you for
this time that you allow us to have.

thank you for speaking, through me,
Lord, because, those words, Lord,

came from deep down in my heart, Lord,
because You know, my desire, Lord,

and my desire is to help those who may
be dealing with different situations,

temptations, challenges in their life.

They, might be somebody that,
is in church and they love you.

They really love you.

They want to serve you.

They want to give everything
that they have to honor you.

But sometimes the little things
sometimes could be a unforgiving spirit.

You sometimes could be a hurt pain.

And we know how the enemy, works.

He always, tries his very best to plant
seeds, negative seeds in our minds.

And that's how, he can, do his
work, when we allow those things

to come into our minds, because
that's what the battle begins.

we need, we need to surrender everything.

When those temptations, when
those negative thoughts come into

our mind, we need to turn them
over immediately to Jesus Christ.

We need to plead the blood of Jesus
immediately of ourselves and ask God

for of strength and for guidance.

We don't need to entertain
those pains or sufferings or

whatever the situation may be.

So we pray, Lord, in the name of
Jesus, and by the power of your Holy

Spirit, that you give us the strength
that we need, the courage that we need

to just surrender everything to you.

Whether it's a husband, a wife, a
child, a son, a daughter, a mother,

father, grandparents, brother,
sisters, whoever the coworker.

Because the enemy, like the word said,
we wrestle against principalities.

And it's not people, it's those evil and
unclean spirits that, that constantly

are, they are working against us.

'cause the devil wants to destroy us.

They wanna destroy our families
want, the devil wants to destroy our

marriages, our finances, our health.

It's a battle going on.

We can see it through our eyes.

It's going on, it's happening.

We can see how the world is
just, is turned upside down.

So Father, I just pray, Lord, that
if one word that, that I spoke

would touch somebody, would help,
somebody would bring healing, will

bring strength, will bring illumination.

Understanding Lord, it's
for your glory and honor.

It's not for me because I.

Lord, you have been so good to me.

I'm not who I used to be, but
yet I'm not who I am going to be

'cause you're still working in me.

It's a process.

And Lord, like always my prayer is
that I want more and more of you

because I want to be used by you.

I want to be an instrument for building
your kingdom, reaching out and touching

the hearts and souls and lives of people
for your glory, not for my glory, not

for me, not for a ministry, but for you.

That Jesus will be exalted.

So Father, we love you.

We thank you.

We thank you for my brother
because he's not a friend.

He's a brother, Jesse, for bringing
us together, for needing a heart,

for allowing us to work side by side.

Lord,

love you, Lord.

I.

Words cannot express our gratitude
for what you have done in spite

of what we have been through.

We excited about the future 'cause
I know you have great things for us.

I know you're gonna do great things
through us because it's for you,

father, to glorify you and to bless your
people, your children, your creation.

So Father, to you, be all the glory
and the honor in Jesus' name, by

the power of your Holy Spirit.

Amen and amen.

Amen.

Cailin: We hope you've been
blessed by today's story.

if you've heard something that you think
could help someone you know, please share

it using the link in the show notes.

Also, if you will give Faith and purpose a
positive review on your podcast platform,

you could help more people find it.

You'll probably never know
how that small effort.

Can make a big difference in someone's
life, but our Heavenly Father knows.

Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus
follower with a story to tell, please send

them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.

It may encourage them to tell their story.

That person may even be you.

Our only criteria is
that Jesus be glorified.

Most Christians don't share their
faith because they mistakenly think

their story is not interesting enough.

Or that it's self-centered to talk
about themselves or that they are

not competent to explain the gospel
correctly, but none of that is relevant.

If Jesus has changed your
life, you have a story to tell.

No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone

else through telling your experience.

no one can disagree with your experience.

When we tell what Jesus has done in
our lives, we are being obedient to his

command to go into all the world and
preach the gospel to every creature.

It's not about theology and it's not
about how interesting or special you are.

It's all about Jesus.

So when you are ready to tell
how Jesus has impacted your life,

you can let Jesse know at his
ministry website, jesse duke.net.

There you can download guidelines
that will make it easy to

prepare to tell your story.

Thank you for listening today and shalom.